Stolen Innocence (Evergreen) [Student/Teacher Love Story]

forty

"I need to talk to Lily," I surprise both my parents by saying one day as I come down to eat breakfast before school. They share a glance before looking back to me.

"I don't know if that's-"

"Not gonna happen," My mom cuts my dad off by saying as she sips her coffee.

"I should've rephrased, my bad, I'm going to talk to Lily," I stare my mom down and she drops the newspaper she's reading to glare back at me.

"Iris, I'm sorry to say it, that is not happening," She says back definitely before bringing the newspaper up to her face again. I feel like ripping it out of her hands.

"When did you think you became the boss of me?" I snap back and my dad sighs, running a hand through his hair. Good, I hope I'm annoying him.

"It's too early for this, Eye..."

"No, I wanna know. What, exactly, about the past few weeks gives you any reason to think I'm not an adult at this point?" I ask defiantly and she drops her newspaper again, her eyebrows scrunched now in concern, not anger.

"You gotta stop putting me at the kids table, mom. I'm not one anymore," With that, I leave the room, going to get dressed for the day.

The drive to school is quiet, but not awkward. There's been too many long silences between my mom and I at this point for it to be awkward anymore.

She sighs as she pulls up to the drop-off point.

"Why do you want to talk to her so badly?" Her tone is dejected and no longer angry. I glance out the window at the gray clouds signifying rain later.

"I just need to. I can't explain it," She sighs next to me and I turn back to face her.

"If you feel like you owe this to her or something..."

"It's not really that. I just think we need to talk. Woman to woman," I feel bile rise in my throat at the thought of actually sitting down across from the woman whose life I've assuredly ruined and talking to her.

"Okay...we can talk about this later. Just, have a good day today, okay?" I nod and she smiles weakly as I leave the car.

I know she wants me to focus on school and moving past this situation, namely figuring out what the hell I'm gonna do with the growing problem inside me.

I could get an abortion. I absolutely could. In fact, that would probably be the best option for me and everyone around me.

And yet.

Something stops me. Whether it be the idea that my therapist and I talked about in my last session - giving the child up to a family that can't get pregnant immediately after birth - or something else, I'm not sure.

As I walk into school, I try not to think about what that "something else" might be, but part of me already knows. The more sinister thought that comes to mind is the realization that I don't want to get rid of my last connection to Michael. But I know that I don't want the kid, either. I'm thirteen and Aubrey made sure I realize that choosing to keep a child is a choice that I would live with for the next 20 years.

I'm well aware that I don't want to keep it. But maybe by giving it up to a family I don't have to sever that tie to Michael - the last tie - just yet.

—-

I tell my friends my thoughts after second period.

"I think I want to keep it," I blurt and they both look confused for a moment before I pat my belly and they nod silently.