Maidens & Killers

Hope

    Sleep is a luxury saved for those whose minds allow them to shut them off. I haven't been awarded that luxury lately. I sit, hours later, and stare at the book Garrick left me, fingering the pages and trying to wrap my mind around all that I have learned in just the last few days. The things that I’ve learned from Imogen, Violet, Garrick and even Xaden are life altering things, the kind that change who you are as a person. The naive girl who arrived at Basgaith in August  was unrecognizable to me now. Everything that I knew about rebels and riders and dragons and signets all shattered like a thin sheet of glass.

       After I’ve had my fill of moping I stand from my seat and grab my black cloak. I throw it on over my riding uniform that I never took off earlier in the day. I rush to the door of my room and whip it open, only to come face to face with Garrick, his hand raised as though he was moments from banging on her door.
“I don’t know why I’m here.” Garrick says. “I told myself that I wouldn’t come back here, not until you came to me first. But I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to you.”
I stop Garrick before he can say anything else, “I can’t help myself when it comes to you either. I read the book, saw what you wanted me to and it doesn’t change anything. I’m not sure exactly what it means but, whatever it is, I’m still right here.”
Garrick closes his eyes for a brief second, before saying some sort of prayer up to the sky and grabbing me in his arms. His lips are on mine in an instant, smothering my shock and melting me into his body. I missed this feeling, more than I want to admit to myself.

      Garrick walks us into my room and sets me on my bed and kneels in front of me. “There are so many things I want to tell you. There are still some things that I can’t, but many that I will. I promise.”
I look up into Garrick’s now familiar hazel eyes. There is still some hurt there but now they are filled with more hope than hurt. “You told me you would never make me a promise you couldn’t keep.” I say to him.
Garrick nods, still peppering my face with kisses as he kneels beside me on the bed, “I did and I meant it. I’ll never make you a promise and go back on it. So listen up killer.”
I sit up straight and cup his stubbled cheek in my hand.
“I promise you, from here on out, it’s me and you. I’ve tried ignoring this thing between us and I’ve tried running from it and I’m done with both. I’m not going to choose between you and the Tyrrish youth, so please don’t ask me to. But, I’m hoping that I can have you both somehow.”
“I would never ask you to choose Garrick, never. I shouldn’t have implied that with Imogen. I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am that I did that to you.” Tears slowly drip down my cheek and Garrick reaches up to wipe them away.

       “Please don’t cry. We’ve both apologized enough Maeve. We’re moving on from this all, okay?” Garrick says, rocking me back and forth against his chest in a comforting manner.
I nod against him and mumble something about still being sorry but Garrick just shuts me up with another searing kiss. We kiss for an eternity it feels like, making up for lost time and end up in my bed in a tumble. Making love to Garrick is something that my body will never tire of I’m sure. After rolling around and playfully fighting for the upper hand this time finds me on top of him, riding his body until we are both going over that sweet crest of orgasm together.

     In the afterglow of our reunion love making, Garrick runs his hands up and down my naked spine softly and mutters sweet nothings in my ear.
I meet his eyes as we lay there, “I read the book, like you told me.” I say again for emphasis.
Garrick doesn’t stop his hands movement, but shoots me a tight nervous smile. “You said you did.”
“Do you not want to know what I think of it?” I ask.
Garrick shakes his head comically, “Nope, I think I am just fine never knowing. Safer that way.”
I playfully pinch his side making him laugh and pull me tighter.
“What did you think?” Garrick finally asks.
“Pain. You have the power to inflict pain don’t you?” I look up at him, hoping he will deny what I’ve read with my own eyes.
“I do. Or atleast, that’s the gist of it. If you ask the Navarre leadership what my signet power is they would tell you that I can make someone weaker by lessening their strength. That’s because that is what I have shown them. But the reality is that what I’ve shown them is just the tip of the iceberg. I can induce the kind of pain that leaves a person completely helpless and willing to bend to my whim without ever touching them.”  I can tell by Garrick’s face that he is struggling to tell me this.
“You can torture people essentially.” I nudge.
‘That is what Melgren and Aetos would have me do, yes.” Garrick pulls my head towards him and places a kiss on my forehead gently.

      As I lay there I can’t seem to wrap my mind around all of this, the fact that this gentle giant who I love could possibly have the power to do the thing he says he can.
“Can you show me?” I ask tentatively.
Garrick shakes his head again, “I’d rather not. I rarely use my power in that way, if ever. I have perfected the ability to control it, allowing it to only trickle out and be used for other things. I haven't used my signet power for what it was intended for since I was a first year rider.”
“Tell me about the last time you used it.” I urge.
Garrick lets out a deep sigh. “It was War Games, my first year. There was this kid, Keegan. He hated Xaden and I, fuck he tried to kill us every chance that he got. He came close too, we weren’t what we are now then. We were still young, and new to our dragons and signets. So War Games comes and it’s him and Xaden in a brawl on the ground and I can just tell that one of them isn’t walking away. I knew what my signet was truly by then, and I was scared of it. But I also knew that there was no way I was going to let Xaden be the one who didn’t walk away from that fight. So I hit him with all of the power I had, completely unshielded.”
“What happened?” I gasp out.
Garrick may be lying in the bed next to me, but I can tell that his mind is far away, back to the place he last used his full power. “First he started screaming, then he tried to rip his hair and his skin off. He kind of just folded into the ground and kept screaming.” Garrick jostles me to pull me closer. “Even after I quit using my power on him, long after in fact, he kept screaming. His eyes were blown black, you could tell that he was broken mentally. Xaden snapped his neck quickly, there was nothing else we could do.”

     “That sounds like it was awful,” Is the only thing I can think to say, “Thank you for trusting me with that story.”
I feel Garrick nod, “Thank you for not being afraid of me.”
I chuckle, “Garrick, I’ve been mad at you, frustrated with you and damn near crazy in love with you, but never afraid.”
“I wish I could see myself the way that you see me.” Garrick adds, moving on to caress my crazy mop of curls.
“I see you for what you are, Garrick. You’re a whole bunch of different things, to a whole bunch of different people. Protector; friend; confidant; leader; sparring partner; coach; wing mate; section leader;  all rolled into one.  I’m just glad that one of those things is mine.”