Sweet Little Serena (Rewrite)

Hold That Thought...Bedroom

(A/N: Welcome to season 3B)

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Clary hadn't been in their lives very long, but she'd made a massive impact on them. Now, without her, you could feel that gap in your life where she used to be. Some of them felt it more acutely than others. Serena felt it in distributing jobs, when she went to turn to her little sister and she wasn't there. When she wanted to talk to her about something cute Alec did and didn't want to make Izzy feel weird. In the little things like looking through her closet and trying to decide what to wear only to stumble across something she'd borrowed from Clary.

Jace felt it the most, to no one's surprise. If he had just been quicker. If he'd just come clean to his sister sooner. If...if maybe he did a million things differently, they wouldn't have ended up in that position. Or maybe he would've been able to make it onto the roof a minute earlier. One minute. 60 seconds. Sixty seconds to get up to the apartment that they were in before Simon's mark sent Lilith back to Edom in a fiery explosion.

Mission after mission, since then, he'd been punishing himself for everything that happened. Serena had stayed back for one of them and sent her husband and siblings after a rogue Seelie that escaped from the Gard and into the sewers of New York.

"Follow me," she'd ordered him. "Now, Jace," she added when he didn't follow her.

Her injured brother came after her, a hand held to his stomach as he followed her into Clary's room.

"Rena -"

"In. Now."

"Rena, I ..." he began as he hobbled inside. "I can't..."

"Look at me. It's not your fault. Nothing that happened was your fault. And we're in here because you can't keep replacing your grief with guilt because it is going to get you killed at this rate."

"Rena, it is my fault. Clary, grandma-"

"Hey!" she scolded. "It's ok. Jacey. I promise you, it's ok."

"It hurts," he admitted, his eyes red. "Rena, it really hurts. Make it stop. Make it stop," he begged as he broke into tears, gripping onto her as his knees gave out. "She's gone, Rena. She's gone," he wailed, and Serena cradled his head to her as she began singing softly the old song Maryse used to sing to them before bed when they were little.

Serena's voice had been the only thing to calm her brother down as Clary's loss tore him apart. It tore Serena apart too, but seeing Jace in his condition made it all the worse.

But even Serena's calm could only last so long before Jace thought of Clary again. Many times, she'd sat with her brother, holding him and singing until he fell asleep, just like she did when they were little. And she'd rather end up with a stiff back and a sore ass from sitting there too long rather than let him be in pain.

He'd fallen asleep in Clary's bed after she'd patched up his stomach before she walked into her office. "I brought breakfast," she said as she presented him with a tray of food.

"Thanks. Shouldn't you get some sleep?"

"Shouldn't you?" she returned as he picked up a piece of bacon.

"Touche. This job is never-ending," Alec said as Serena scoffed and kissed his cheek.

"Tell me about it," she replied as she moved over to her desk.

"I just got off the phone with Alicante. They are arranging transport for the Seelie," Izzy reported as she marched into their office unannounced.

"Good. We can't get rid of him soon enough," Alec remarked before he bit into a piece of toast.