the thing about love.

|6| a n a m n e s i s.

ℕ𝕆𝕋𝔼(𝕊):
💌

- just to clear any possible confusion beforehand, this whole chapter is in a flashback perspective!

- also, happy new year! 🤍
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FIVE MONTHS AGO: EARLY JUNE

In the weeks preceding Olivia's imminent departure to Paris, an unexpected event cast a somber shadow over their lives—the sudden news of Corey's passing. The funeral had unfolded, its echoes leaving an enduring aftermath and despite Spencer's persistent claim that he was coping well, Olivia discerned a subtle transformation in his demeanor in the final week.

Around others, Spencer maintained a composed facade, but in Olivia's presence, he revealed the intricate layers of his emotions. She, being the main person attuned to the nuances of his being, could easily tell when something wasn't right.

For weeks, it bothered her to see Spencer stick to his strong suit, making sure everyone else around him was fine while neglecting his own needs. It had gotten to the point where she found herself grappling with a surge of doubts about her upcoming trip to Paris. The initial excitement that had accompanied the announcement of the cultural exchange program now seemed overshadowed by a sense of guilt and apprehension.

While her heart felt heavy with the thought of leaving Kai, the weight of Spencer's grief added another layer of hesitation. She couldn't shake the feeling that she would be abandoning him during a time when he needed her most.

Yet, every time she tentatively broached the subject, Spencer would gently but firmly shut her down. He was perceptive through her conflicted emotions and refused to let her miss out on an opportunity she had eagerly anticipated since the trip's announcement.

He knew how badly she wanted this, not just for her education and experience, but for her own personal reasons as well. For months, he observed her behavior, unable to shake the conviction that she needed this time away.

The toll on her mental health had manifested in ways that cut deep into her daily life. Her relationships, once buoyant and full of light, were becoming strained. Motherhood, a role she embraced with genuine warmth, started to feel burdened with negativity. The stresses and pressures of her professional life were casting shadows that affected her physical well-being.

Spencer listened to her every worry—hearing the tremor in her voice as she confessed her fear of losing the lighter parts of herself. The thought of losing the vibrant and carefree aspects of her spirit that had always defined her, filled Olivia with an existential dread.

It was a fear that echoed in Spencer's mind, and he recognized the urgency for her to take a step back, to breathe and find herself again. He'd always been supportive, understanding the complexity of the changes since Kai's birth. He witnessed Olivia navigate the challenges, her strength inspiring him every step of the way.

Yet, he also saw the toll it took on her, the subtle changes that hinted at a quiet struggle beneath the surface. Though battling with his own emotions and the desire to have Olivia by his side during this difficult time, Spencer recognized the significance of the opportunity.

The idea of her rediscovering self-joy, of finding solace in a moment of respite, was something he yearned for her. He knew that some time away, a chance to breathe and recalibrate, would be beneficial for his girl.

As he masked his feelings, knowing that admitting his reluctance could inadvertently burden her with more doubt, the night before Olivia's scheduled flight crept upon them. In the dim glow of their shared space, as they lay entwined, Spencer could sense the anxiety that whispered through her—the fear of what her absence might mean for both of them.