a teenage girls diary

i forgot when this happened

( enjoy this picture of a moth)

sooo...
we have two classes together. when i say we i mean me and justin. one is gym the other is fitness. no they aren't the same thing. gym is sports and fitness is working out in a gym. see, their different. anyway so today because of our schedule we had three class together because our fitness class was a double block. he skipped the gym class and went out and smoked with some friends.

i don't think i mentioned that earlier but my man (figuratively) is a stoner and i am slowly becoming one to...

ANYWAY!
during the class that he skipped he was smoking weed with four other friends in his friends car. he invited me to come with him and his friends to smoke but i said i green to easy then he said just to hit the pen and i said maybe they he said that i couldn't come because the friend that owns the car invited a friend and their was no room and he said he felt like an ass bc he asked then said i couldn't.
(that didn't make sense but oh well)
anyway long story short he got high the class right before the double that we had together. when i got to the fitness classroom he was standing by the entrance and because i was one of the early students to arrive he greeted me with the biggest smile...

and when i tell you this was the cutest shit.

we walked into the classroom together and said hello to the teacher then started our warm up. i went to the treadmill and he was going to the bikes which are on different sides of the weight room. not only did he stop his warm up but he came and ran on the treadmill right beside me. i'm pretty sure i mentioned this but were besties so this would be normal behaviour but it still made me happy. anyway we worked out together as well so he was not only high but also lifting like 75lbs preacher curls. and i got to witness it.

MMMMMMMM

anyways. we had to do group workout later lead by this piece of work that's in good shape so we had to do minute planks and like 50 crunches. for reference i can usually only hold a plank for around 30seconds when i'm not trying and about 1minuite when i'm doing my best and if you've never done 50 crutches in 35 seconds then drop and do it and feel your abs burn.  so in other words i was dying:) during the plank we were talking about something i don't remember what but what i do remember was that he groaned "good job bella".
i folded.
i was down.
if i were to die today i would be ok.
if you even need motivation get a man to groan your name while your about to give up. works like a charm.

i forgot to mention this earlier but before the group workout we were doing shoulder press and he was staring into my soul when it was my turn to lift. not in a weird way but he is always making eye contact with me and i love it. it wasn't like a creepy stare either. it looked like eyes of adoration. but it might of just been because the high was making his eyes droopy. eye contact is such a simple way to give a girl butterflies. unless that girl is uncomfortable around you. then you seem like a creep that has a staring problem.

He keeps pushing me in that damn class man. during the shoulder press he kept urging me to get my weight lower and use more weight. i am very comfortable with my ten pounds and slight decrease in the height of my arms when doing shoulder presses but i love that he keeps trying to get me to do better.

in our school in between doubles is the lunch break so he invited me out with his friend to smoke and maybe get food. i was down and he said, "great we just gotta tell frenna that he can't come." frenna is my neighbour/ best friends ex. we have a bit of a complicated yet very simple relationship. we're friends from when he was dating my best friend but he's been pissing me off recently because he has been talking to her again right after breaking up with his prior girlfriend.

i had noticed that frenna had been hanging around justin and his friends and bragging about how he got high with them and it pisses me off. getting high isn't exactly a cool thing but he thinks he's the shit just because he has smoked a couple joints that he leached off of justin. of course theres an excitement that comes with being high for the first time but frenna is a bit strange. he makes up the most obvious lies and is overly exaggerated when telling story's. so the fact that he had smoked at all means that i'm going to be hearing about his experience with it for the next five months bc it was "chill" as he says with the biggest grin on his face.

Anyways i got a little side tracked talking about why he pisses me off. i had noticed that he had been hanging around justin i asked if he had just been tagging along or if they were actually friends. he said that,
"he has kinda be tagging along the whole time, the boys just give him weed because he's their."
this made me laugh and also clear up some stuff because it seemed like frenna wasn't really accepted by them and was just their. after he said that he also said something else.

he basically said, "me and the guys were driving past your house while frenna was in the car and he pointed out your house and said "bella lives their" and i said "yes we already know" and he said something like "oh yea i had a massive crush on her" then he kinda just sat their and started talking about random shit."

i was aware that he liked me for the most part (not that i flirted with him) however i didn't think that he would just come out and say it because from the time that i moved into that house with my mom and the time that he started to like me, HE WAS DATING MY BEST FRIEND!
you would think he would be a bit more sensible that to admit that you liked another girl while dating someone to a bunch of guys that are friends with that girl but he's an idiot and lacks any if not all common sense.

at the end of lunch when we just got back and we were both baked. i had gone into the theatre to meet up with my best friend tatum (frennas ex). frenna was sitting their with her which pissed me off so i went and sat with tatum and frenna looked at me and said " so are you high?" i just laughed bc well i was baked as hell and they he started on about a story of his first time smoking and i zoned him out because i was 100% sure half of everything he said was made up.
Thankfully he was interrupted by justin and his friends walking into the theatre. he came and sat by me them dapped me up. when he did that idk if it's because he was high of not but he held my hand for a little and rubbed my finger with his thumb....

oml

guys

i think

i'm down bad
:)