The Path Of The Night [BoyxBoy]

Part 12- Psychological disorder

One more Step to Death
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I was going to wake up with him...
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[WARNING: This Chapter contains dangerous content such as Suicide. It is recommended that you do not read if you will feel uncomfortable!]

It was midnight, it was past 3 o'clock... I was unaware of anything, you may have heard of a saying called silence before disaster...

I wasn't feeling well after what happened, Suddenly I heard a buzzing sound, Like Something was Ringing, or maybe a little girl was screaming, something like that, I opened my eyes, I COULD NOT MOVE? WHAT? It felt like my body was shaking, but I couldn't move. My eyes closed, I heard the door of the wardrobe opening. I couldn't feel my hands, legs, or anywhere else, it was as if my whole body was paralyzed. I had a great feeling of fear... I had just understood real fear... What real fear meant...

I wanted to scream, call for help, I couldn't make my voice heard, I even tried to clear my throat, I was so panicked. I just had a stroke. Suddenly someone grabbed my throat, I was choking, I was about to die, I guess this was the end for me. I swear I prayed to every God/Goddess I know, Whoever is real, To help me, It's such a disgraceful situation. I couldn't breathe, It suddenly occurred to me that I might be having sleep paralysis, it's just a trick my brain plays on me, it occurs after things like stress, and insomnia. After a few seconds, I jumped out of my place, I could move, I didn't say anything to anyone, but I was too scared. After I was able to move, I was shocked for the first 5 seconds. It was the first time this had happened. I wanted to wake Nick, but I was embarrassed. What if he thinks I'm crazy or something?...

But if I hadn't woken him up, I would have shit my pants with fear. So I Tried to Wake Up Nick.

I called out to Nick, whispering in a light and slow voice. ~Nick, Can You Look?~
Nick suddenly opened his eyes, as if he had been waiting for this moment for years pfft.

Nick: What happened? Can't you sleep? Is there a problem? Does it hurt somewhere?

[Me] Luka: I couldn't sleep, Lightning sounds don't let me, and I'm uncomfortable, Can I hug?...

Nick: Sure, what kind of question is that, babe? Come to my arms.

Nick took me into his arms, we hugged, I wasn't shaking anymore, I felt safe in his arms. Lately, I feel very close to death, as if I want to commit suicide, but I'm afraid, but this won't fix anything...
Death... I wonder what is after Death? I definitely do not believe that we will disappear, while there are so many endless universes, the endless universe, and the human brain has a limit of understanding, so I don't know. But I feel it. I just know that if there is Heaven and Hell, I will definitely not be able to enter Heaven. So... I felt Nick put his hands between my legs, hugged my legs, hugged me tightly. No matter how comfortable I felt, I couldn't forget what had just happened. It was traumatic.
Derealization, Sleep Paralysis, Trauma, Stress, and a Killer. What a wonderful and fantastic life I live. God, I asked you for a fantastic and fun life, but there was no need for this much.

I was falling asleep, slowly, but suddenly I heard a sound from the kitchen, It was like a glass broke or something made of glass. But I was absolutely sure that something was broken, I couldn't get up, I mean I didn't want to, I couldn't get up with Nick hugging me like that.
But I'm sure Alice did it, she definitely dropped a Glass Cup or something. That's why I didn't give it much thought. I haven't been well lately, I'm always in a bad mood, I don't have a fever but I feel like I do. Anyway, I'd better sleep. But how. I've lost all my sleep, I'm starting to see hallucinations anyway, I Swear I will end up in a mental hospital one day Lol.
I was starting to lose myself, slowly... My head was hurting badly. I wish... I wish we could go so far away, just me and Nick and Alice. Wouldn't It Be Great, A Comfortable And Fantastic Life... I Feel Very Safe In Nick's Lap, I Started To Fall Asleep... His Warmth Was Enveloping Me... He Is Warm, And I Have A Cold Body.