· breath is all that matters ·

2| Stairs and pasta helper.

Audrey woke up still feeling under the weather. Before she even thought of getting out of the bed she started at the wall while being lost in her thoughts.

- Hello linda..- Neil knocked to the bedroom door very gently.- You alright?

The only response that dr.Melendez got was a mild shoulders shrug. Quickly Audrey hid her face in her hands, as she didn't wanted to show her tears.

- Hey..- He understood what's going on, and hugged her right away.- I'm here mi amor, talk to me..- Audrey felt a cute rubbing sensatcion on her hair, she loved that.

- I can't stop having these nightmares about Dalisay ex husband..- She tried to stay calm, and don't go straight into a PTSD episode.- I still feel the pain after he sttabbed me.- She quickly placed her hands on her stomach.

- Guapa, listen alright? - He looked straight into her eyes.- This should never ever happend to you, it was so hard for you and i saw how hard you worked to put the wheelchair into a corner and never use it again. Im very proud of you mi amor. See how far you came?- She started to realise it all only after Neil said it. It was hard, it was fucking harrash for her.

- But I'm still having some trouble with the stairs and..- Audrey was feeling embaressed, even though there was no reason she should feel that way.

- And the stairs will get easier, and easier cause you are a trooper, linda.- He kissed her forehead, which made her blush.- And, I can always help you with stuff, just tell me okay?- Audrey noded.- Now, let's go eat huh? I made some pasta that you love, I don't accept any negative response, it will help you feel better preciosa.

- About helping..- She looked back down.- Can you hold my hand while i go down? Last time i fell and it was fucking terrible..- She laughed a bit, but of course Melendez started to worry.

- Conejito, why didn't you tell anyone, you could badly hurt yourself.

- But I didn't so don't overthink it babe..- She got out of the bed, and did a long exhale.

- I'm right behind you mi amor..- Neil calmed her down as he placed his hands on her waist.- If it's too hard or too exhausting tell me right away.

- Relax, I'm alright sweetheart.- She laughed quietly. She strongly held the stair railing and started taking carful steps, but her legs started to uncomfortably shake due to spasticity she had in her muscles from the waist down.- Fuck..- Audrey whispered, clearly being annoyed.- I hate this, it's the worst shit ever.

- Don't give up guapa mia, you are doing amazing, only a couple more steps are you're done.- She tried again, but her legs were so weak, as she didn't have the mental and phisycal power to move, and she was so ashamed of her disabilty.- Do you want to try again baby? I can stabilize you more, so it's a bit easier.

- Okay..- She was cleary mad at herself, the thought of her not being able to walk as she did made her anxious.- Melendez hands were a little higher than Audreys hips, and he held her hand strongly enough, so she feels stable.

And there it was, she made the way trough the stairs which was so exhausting for dr.Lim, but at the same time she was extremely proud of herself. Audrey sat and letted the spasticy from her body let go, it was the weirdest thing ever. It's not like shaking when your anxious, she felt all of her muscles contract and no matter what she couldn't stop the pain nor the convulsious.

- You did amazing, you know that mi amor? I am the proudest I could ever be..- He placed a kiss on her head.- Do you want me to massage your legs later? I can imagine how painful this is.- He rubbed her shaky thigh.

- You could really do that?

- Of course conejito, I would do anything to stop you from hurting.- Audrey never felt that loved and understood, it was fantastic.- Okaay and now, disfrute, linda.- He placed a plate with pasta on it in front of her. It really looked and smelled amazing.

- I never knew you were a cook kind of guy.- She laughed and placed a kiss on his cheek.- And thank you so much love, really.

- First, well I'm not the greatest at cooking, but at least i never burned a kitchen, and second. You are very very welcome guapa mia.- Audrey took a bite of the pasta, and her face could tell it all.

- Neil Melendez did I ever fucking tell you, that you are an amazing cooker? Thank god, that's fantastic.

- I'm so so glad that you like it baby.- He smiled and ate the pasta too, but he saw that even though Audrey loved the pasta, she was lost in her thoughts, and for the most of the time she only moved the pasta all over the place with a fork.- Guapa, is everything fine?- Melendez asked as he took a sip of his water.

- I'm just..- She looked for the right words in her head.- I swear I don't have an eating disorder or anything, but for the last few days i was struggling to sit straight, not talking about eating. It makes my throat close up.

- It's okay Aud, it's not your fault baby. Don't rush.- He rubbed her back as she was eating, the support really helped her to get through it.

- I guess you're my stairs and pasta helper now.- She rested her head on his stomach.

- Probably, whoops.- He smiled, and kissed Audrey again.

- I think, I might go to work tomorrow. I am much better now, really.

- Linda, I don't think you should, what if you get stressed, or your legs give up like last time.- It happend before Audrey went into a depression relapse, everyone was so worried.

- It only happend once okay? I forgot to take my meds, and also Marcus said that it was alright.- She rolled her eyes.

- You almost had a fucking seizure Audrey, it wasn't alright.

- I did not, what are you even talking about..- She started to feel confused.

- I knew you wouldn't remember it..- He said quietly, but Lim heard it anyways.

- Remember what Neil. Im getting worried.

- Okay..- He kissed her forehead.- After you collapsed and asked me and Clarie for help, we tried to see your eyes respond to the light, in case there was anything going as bad as it was, when you were in your wheelchair.- He tried to tell her the whole story, but he couldn't stand the memory of Audrey being in pain, even if they weren't togheter back then.- You didn't reacted at all, we tried to get you to a room, to take some labs but..

- But what, Neil tell me. Please.

- As you know the stabbing caused your nerves to be severly damaged, and that also caused the nerves not the respond as they should in your brain..- He rubbed her hand so she don't panic.- When I came back to check on you, you had a full tonic-clonic seizure, but the meds worked hopefully.

- So..- She was so confused.- I'm epileptic?..

- Not really, the seizure was non-epileptic, but i think you might have FND due to the stabbing baby..

- That's why i've been having tics while every episode..- Audrey closed her eyes and took a deep breath.- God..

- I will be with you everytime guapa, nothing bad will happend. It's not confirmed, we should do some tests hm?..

- Yeah..- Lim started playing with her hands. - I don't think i want to go back to there after what you told me..

- Everyone just wanted to help you mi amor, you don't have to feel ashamed.

- You say so?..

- Absolutly conejito.- His warm hands found their place on Audreys cheeks.
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