· breath is all that matters ·

9 | Fucking Kashal.

- Alright, it looks like eveything is fine. But maybe we shouldn't do twenty minutes next time.- She gently smiled at Audrey.

- I'm so sorry, it really happened out of nowhere. I didn't even felt it was coming.

- If you say sorry ever again I'll slap you I swear.- She sat next to her.- I have a feeling you're a bit to harsh to yourself about this.

- Says you.- Melendez looked at Morgan with a ironic smile.

- Oh shut up, you're not involved in this.- She rolled her eyes.- Anyways. Healing is a process Aud, you don't have to be back immediately after we just found a relapse of your almost paralysis in your spinal chord. I know you would kill to get back, and do things as they were, but if you don't give yourself time to break it down, I'm not sure if it would even worked out.

- I just don't like to miss out on things, I already missed out enough after the attack. Can't I just come back, but on the God damn wheelchair?

- What about the seizures mi amor? What if you have one in front of a patient?

- I won't. Besides, if I would feel one coming I can just walk out.- Audrey looked at Melendez.

- Well, that's a good idea actually, but I have no idea how Andrews will react.

- Probably he will be pissed at the entire world. If something about me bothers him, he can just fire me, god.

- I propose that we all go home, and we'll see how Audrey will be feeling tomorrow okay? I don't want you to push yourself to the maximum.

- For the first time in what, three years? I agree with you.- dr.Reznick looked at Neil.

- Woah, maybe I'm not the one that should be taking the first steps huh?- Audrey dropped a quick joke as she sat on the wheelchair, getting her IV out.

- Babe, I would do it.- They all went out of the room.

- Too late, I'm a doctor too, you know that.- She smiled, but the seizure made her really tired.

- Someone is playing a mummyyy..- Morgan nudged Neil in the shoulder.- Okay, I will change, see you tomorrow hopefully.- She smiled as her dimples appeared on her cheeks.

- Hopefully..- Audrey only let out a quiet sight.

They both got into the car, and for the entire trip Audrey was just looking down not saying a single word.

- Hey..- Melendez rubbed her shoulder as they got inside the apartment.- Everything okay? I know you're mad at these, you have a right to feel like this, but the meds has to absorb and get used to your body. It will be better I promise guapita.

- I'm just..- She looked down.- Tired, tired about everything. I don't even wanna talk about it anymore..

- Oh come here..- He gave her a thight hug and rubbed her hair.- It's going to be okay mi amor, don't let it get to you. Who can't fight through it if not you?

- You.- She looked him in the eyes and gave him a deep kiss right in the lips.- Can we go to sleep now? I'm exhausted.- She thought she saw someone standing out of the window, but was sure that it was just from the tiredness. Of course, she didn't stopped thinking about it till they fall asleep.

- Absolutely guapa mia..- She smiled at her cute visibly tired eyes.

They both got ready for bed, and before Neil even noticed, Audrey fell asleep laying on his chest as he played with her hair. He was just about to turn off the lamp on the night stand, as Audrey started litteraly crying in her sleep. He thought something was wrong, that she was hurt, or had a seizure, but no. He didn't wanted to wake her up, but things got more severe when she was whispering litteral begs to not to hurt her, it was getting really terrifying.

- Audrey baby..- He whispered to her, and himself as he rubbed her back very gently.

- Oh my god!- She litteraly shouted as she immediately got up. Her body couldn't fight the PTSD anymore, and the seizure before was a perfect trigger, so was the thought of someone watching them.

- Hey, mi amor, it's okay.- He immediately hugged her to keep her safe, but she bursted into tears and try to let off of the hug as she felt unsafe beacuse of the flashbacks.

- Please don't, no please don't.- She was hyperventilating and the honest tears from being terrified was so heartbreaking to watch.

- Audrey, baby. You're okay, it's not real. I'm right here to keep you safe, can you look at me?- He held her hands so she feels his presence. She looked him in the eyes but was still crying.- Can we take a deep breath togheter?

- No, he will hurt me if he finds out. I'm hurt, it hurts.- She tried to walk out of the bedroom, but Neil hugged her so she can regulate.

- Dalisays husband is not here and he never will be near you again, I promise.

- No, no..- She curled up hiding her face between her knees.- Not him, please he will hurt me again, I don't want to go through it again, please.- She was hysteriacly crying, but Neil didn't even realised what she was so panicked about.

- Than wh..- Than it hitted him. Kashal. Fucking Kashal. He didn't even finished what he wanted to say, just thightly hugged her and rubbed her head as it was very calming for Audrey.- I know that it's so scary to feel this way mi amor, but I'm right next to you, and I'm hugging you right now, do you feel that?- He slowly attempted to calm her down, but don't freak her out more by accident.

- Yes..- She finally took a proper breath.

- That's amazing, I'm very proud of you that you trust me. Can you try to even gently hold my hand? Is right by your left.- Melendezes ways to calm her down worked like magic. Audrey grabbed his hand, but was still shaking.- I'm rubbing your hand with my thumb, can you feel that too guapita?

- Yes..- She closed her eyes trying not to go back to the flashbacks.

- Okay, that's great. You're doing great.
Let's take a deep breath togheter okay?- She finally relaxed and layed back on her chest.- In..- He took a deep breath, and so did Lim.- And out..- They both exhaled. Audrey was so tired that she quite immediately went back to sleep.

It was a middle of the night now, they were both asleep cuddled to eachother. Something woke Audrey up, she thought it was her alarm at first, but it wasn't. She quickly realised later that someone was banging on her door, which made her panic once again.

- Neil?..- She whispered, litteraly shaking, the PTSD episode that happend just before wasn't helpful at all.

- Yeah?..- He quickly woke up and hugged her as he saw her so terrified.- Everything alright?- He asked, but he heard the banging and shouting on the door.- It's okay, don't panic. Nothing bad will happend, it's probably some drunk ass guy.- He kissed her temple.- I can go down and check.

- Please don't leave me, I'm scared.- Her PTSD mindset slowly started to come back, but Neil would do anything to stop it.- What if it's Ka..- She quickly stopped herself, as Neil didn't knew a thing about what horror he did to her.- Someone dangerous..

- I'm sure it's not baby, but look, it stopped. I'm sure it was someone drunk or something.- He rubbed her back, trying to make her feel comfy.

- Im nauseous..- She whispered and went to the bathroom that was litteraly next to their bedroom with a help of her cane.

- Audrey, hey..- He went into the bathroom and held her hair as she was throwing up.- Guapita..- He rubbed her shoulders beacuse she knew how much Audrey hated throwing up.
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