· breath is all that matters ·

22 | Lay down.

They had an amazing time for the rest of the day, they were joking to eachother about litteraly everything and Neil was bulding Audreys confidence up as she was still slightly nervous about everything that's happening right now. Of course, they day wouldn't be called successful if it didn't ended up with cuddeling for the rest of the day, and since it was the evening already, they gave eachother time to rest chatting about everything that came up to their minds.

- You really never got back to Taiwan?- Somehow the topic went all the way to theirs childhood. Audrey was laying on his thighs on her side while he was playing with her hair.

- Nope, I wanted to but it just didn't really worked out. And also the language barrier is just too much, I mean. I don't remember the last time I even spoke Chinese.

- Well I do.

- How is that possible?- She giggled and got back up into a sitting position.

- Remember when that woman with a implanted machine heart was in the ER?

- Oooh, now that you mention it, yeah I do.

- Not that I know much about even the language, but it's pretty good. Even more than that.- That made Audrey blush immediately.

- It's not, I was speaking it everyday when I was little. My dad knew english for obvious business reasons but nothing more. Comparing to how fluent I was, it's horrible.

- Aud, you had no opportunity to even practice it, it's understandable that you forgot some, or got out of the shape with speaking, especially when it's the hardest languages I've ever seen.

- Yeah kind of..- She started going pale and disconnected from the conversation all of the sudden.

- Are you okay?- Melendez catched that almost immediately. Audrey only noded gently, but stood up and fastly went to the bathroom, Neil figured out she had to throw up, which was understandable.- You need help Aud?- He knocked on the door since he didn't wanted to go in there all of the sudden, sure they're togheter but privacy still matters.

- I'm fine..- She got out, still looking hella pale.- I just need to lay down I don't feel too good..- Her hand landed on her chest.

- You're having trouble breathing again babe? I'll get you the suplemental oxygen if you want.- He gently grabbed her waist and helped her to lay down in the bedroom.

- It's alright, my lungs are sometimes like complete shit after the virus.

- Are you sure? It's no big deal, I still have it when you moved in for a couple of weeks after the virus.- He got her under a blanket and her face was still extremely almost grey.

- Absolutely sure, can you just lay with me?- He smiled when heard her question, and laid down placing his hand on her stomach doing an gentle left to right movement.

- I'm so glad everything is safe and sound you know?- She smiled and looked at his eyes.

- Me too, you can't even imagine. I was so scared but when I saw the ultrasound it all went away. I realised that the miscarriage wasn't my fault..- When Neil heard that he immediately held her close to him, and kissed her in the forehead.

- Beacause it never was your fault mi amor, you were never in charge of what happend, that motherfucker was and still is.- He realised she started falling into a deep sleep, so he didn't move until she was surely asleep so he doesn't wake her up. When he was positive about that, he left her so she can rest, and opened his laptop to get some work done. The conversation they had earlier and how Audrey lighted up when she talked about her childhood really made him even softer for her, he never knew her from that soft and adorable side. For the whole time they knew eachother she was a high ego and an unbreakable bitchy type of girl, at least he thought so, but it became false for sure by now.
He strongly focused on work, but heard a panicked and shaky voice from the bedroom, Melendez didn't understand what Audrey asked or told him beacuse she was so quiet.

- Babe? What's going on?- He immediately came to her, and realised she's in a full blown PTSD episode which came out of nowhere.
Audrey was curled up not even responding nor realising that Neil is in the same room as her. It was rarely that bad, but if it was Neil knew that the first thing he needs to do is to keep her safe and calm.- Audrey, you're having a flashback okay?- He didn't want to touch her at first, so her body doesn't respond with a fight or flight reaction.

~
- Stop overeating Audrey, I told you you work way too much.- Kashal was minding his own business, when Lim was litteraly standing as frozen in complete shock with blood flowing down her thighs.

- Please help me, I'm..- The intense pain immediately stopped her talk, and made her fell to the ground on her knees. Tears started collecting in her eyes, and with each second the pain was just worse and worse.- Call the ambulance, please..- Audrey fought the pain in her abdomen, ovaries and pelvic as much as she could.

- No. You did that to yourself so you can take care of that crap.- She tried to stand up but nothing was working, she lost the feeling in her legs due to the miscarriage that was just happening. Audrey never thought that Kashal would treat her like that, never.

- Ow..- She mumbled almost throwing up beacuse it was getting even dangerous at that point. The strength she had disappeared, and she could do nothing but lay on the floor while twisting her hands around her lower waist.

- Stop whining bitch, Jesus you made such a mess.- He stood looking at her and still doing nothing with the fact that her wife is bleeding and miscarriding on the floor.- I'm going out, when I'm back you better get yourself togheter. Stop being such a cry baby.- Kashal left and loudly banged the door. Audrey lost consciousness for a long couple of seconds, and when she was back somehow she cwarled to get her phone and call the ambulance. Well, she wanted to call the ambulance but she called Neil instead as she was the first at work she accidentally told about her pregnancy.

- Hey Aud, how are you feelin?- Neil anwsered immediately. Like he was waiting for her to call.

- I'm hurt..- She only managed to whisper.- There's a lot of..- Audrey felt as her eyes started to uncontrollably close.- Blood..- It was the last thing she said before her phone fell on the ground and she lost consciousness for good.

~

- Neil..- She looked up at him while a waterfall of tears was going down her cheeks.

- Shhh..- He hugged her thightly while truly hoping the feeling and thoughts of stress go away as fast as it can.- I'm right here, right next to you. You're having flashbacks Audrey, it's okay.- Audrey tried to catch her breath despite the fact that she felt like her lungs were collapsing.

- I was in so much pain Neil..- She didn't in fact stop crying, but was more and more back into reality. Her hands landed on her abdomen quite immediately.

- I can imagine mi amor, you got through this like a trooper, and you're safe now. I promise, nothing like that will ever happend, can you tell me what day it is today?- Melendez tried to get her fully aware of the surroundings as fast as he could so she didn't stay stuck in her trauma thoughts till morning.

- Thursday..- She started with a shaky and quiet voice.- 17th of April..- Audrey let out a couple of coughs, mainly beacuse she was hyperventilating for a really long time.

- Exactly baby, you're forever safe here okay? Nothing and no one will hurt you ever again.- He gently kissed her temple, and she finally took a deep breath.
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