grian bread fanfic

ch 3

He landed with a thud in a room with walls made of crimson wood slabs, exposing a layer of shroomlights. In front of him was a wall of glass, separating him from the mustachio'ed menace, the sinister starch 'stache spud himself, MumboJumbo.

He had a mischeivous grin adorning his face below his fabulous, silky, smooth moustache, that he stroked as he paced around the room, and laughing maniacally. Perhaps this was why he looked like an evil villain when was stroking his mustache- because he truly was one.

"You know, you signed something yesterday... I don't know if you've noticed anything about me?" He smirked, throwing Grian a leather-bound book through the glass. Grian opened it to the first page and recognised it as his review on Mumbo's trees, which he had requested and, suspiciously, asked him to sign. He read through the page and talked out loud as he did so.

"Okay, rate my trees... yeah."
"Yes? Yes, you signed it, but, you didn't go to page 20..." He couldn't finish his sentence, for he giggled evilly as Grian, in a panic, skimmed through the pages. He finally reached page 20 and, as his eyes made sense of the words, he stopped, flabbergasted.

He was surprised that he hadn't dropped the book, but it was probably because his body had frozen up, and he was clenching on to it as though his life depended on it.

"By... by signing this, you agree to me 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭" He slowed down when he read aloud the next words, as though in a failed attempt to process what he had just read. "In an attempt to become... human... again." He looked up at Mumbo.

He was dazed, shocked, by how a close friend, with such a handsome moustache, could do this to him. The larger question that clouded his mind, however, was: "Why aren't you human? Oh, yeah, 'cause you're a pota-WOOaAH."

This time, he really did drop the book, as Mumbo removed his potato-y, starchy face with his pink trotters and revealed his "true" appearance: his face, extremely hideous in comparison to his old self's tuber exterior, was that of a pig. He still had a mustache that was just as attractive as the one on the head that had masked his looks, but it was mostly obscured by a large, pig's snout. Don't ask me about how that anatomy works. It just does lmao.

Grian struggled with his breathing for a moment as Mymbo spoke. "There is an issue. Look, I had a bit of a cheat day, and I thought I would try some pork, and now... and now, I'm here." he shrugged. "Alright? I've become pork boy and that's an issue, right?"

Grian was not confident on how to cope with this new information and wished that he had bleach to put in his eyeballs. He managed to let out an uncertain laugh, even though he was absolutely terrified.

"The hands make so much sense now!" He blurted, staring at the hands that Mumbo had claimed had been covered in a glove each, now realising and making sense of the truth- that they had become, in fact, pig's trotters.

"You look hideous!" He continued. He could hardly bare to look at him, but he still did, as there wasn't much else he could look at. What, the ceiling comprised of stone bricks, with the very pistons that had been used to relocate him into the chamber that he stood in, looking out of place? The red pulsing through the logs that had come directly from the crimson trees deforested in the nether? What is it that is pulsing through those "veins", anyway? He wondered.

Besides, it would be rude not to look at the person you are speaking too, and he would have looked almost like the ugly that was so horrendous that you couldn't help but stare, if it weren't for the lasciviousness of that moustache.

He angled his head in order to try and get a better look at the moustache underneath the obscene nose. It was saddening that such a glory had to be hidden because of his strange dietary related transformation.

At least when he was a potato, his delightful, well-kept mustache was untouched and pristine. Eat your veggies, kids. "So, that's why you're in here." Mumbo finished his antagonistical monolongue, which Grian had somehow not been able to listen to. "So... am I about to die here?" Grian gulped, anxious about the anxious about the words that would soon leave the pork boy's mouth.

"It depends! Because you do have two buttons. I'm going to stand in position." Mumbo indicated towards the signs to the sides of Grian, which, Grian, looking from side to side, had just observed, and he felt stupid for only now realising that they were there. From the corner of his eye, he saw MumboJumbo standing in an indented hole in the floor.

He walked towards one of the signs and read it out loud. "I, Grian, will kill pork boy to get out of here. He will stay as a -pig, lol.". He turned around and stood in front of the other sign, both made of crimson wood. "I, Grian, willfully give over my soul to Mumbo, so he is not a pig."

He contemplated between the two options that he had been given, and after a very short time, he strode towards the indent next to the sign that entailed the death of Mumbo. "What! Grian!" Mumbo exclaimed in surprise. He felt as though he was the one who had been betrayed.
"Yeah?"
"Do you not know what that button means?" Grian looked towards the sign, then down at the warped-wood button, before returning his gaze to Mumbo.
"Yeah, I -I get it."
"You're fully aware of what that button means- and you're still stood there, yep..." Grian repeated what was written on the sign, knowing that this is the sign he would pick without hesitation had he not been caught off guard with being forced into a possible-soul- extraction chamber, and so he rest assured that this was the correct decision.
"Yeahhh."
"Oh."
"Oh. Unless... unless you're calling my bluff. Unless... I mean, you know me pretty well, so..."
"Am I smart enough for that though?" "But wait... waht if you anticipated that I would antici- that YOU would anticipate that I would anticipate that I WOULD anticipate this, and maybe it's a triple bluff and actually..."

He walked to the indent and sign that was opposite the one he had previously chosen. "...This is the right one." Grian was in a state of confusion, but felt more comfortable, as Mumbo seemed a lot less menacing now that they had conversed, and even just confused both of themselves and bantered about that.

"I mean..." He looked at Grian, still feeling slightly hurt. "Whatever happens, I feel like your intentions are clear- you're just trying to get out of here surviving, and killing me!" They laughed, majorly due to the madness of it all, but also in emotional pain.

"Yeah, I don't know what I did to deserve this, you just asked me to write your trees!" Momentarily there was a silence as Grian pondered and collected his thoughts, and Mumbo waited for what Grian would choose.

Suddenly, it hit him.

"Mumbo... Do both of these buttons do the same thing?" He grinned, before exploding into a frenzy of laughter. Grian joined in as it seemed like the only thing he could do. "No, not at all, not at all-" Mumbo laughed, eyeing Grian as he went to the sign that was labelled with the choice of Mumbo's death.