My friend who played the Fairy Godmother didn't know scientology is basically a cult until someone told her. On closing night.
Welp welcome back to behind the scenes of my school's production of Shrek the Musical.
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Fairy Godmother: The terrible thing is I can't grant my own wishes.
Wicked Witch: So you can't curse people?
Fairy Godmother: Nope.
Ugly Duckling: I wish to be pretty!
Fairy Godmother: You already are sweetheart.
Bo Peep: Grant my wish!
Fairy Godmother: I can't just grant anyone's wishes.
Bo Peep: What about Cinderella?
Fairy Godmother: She was my assignment.
Me/Mama Bear: You actually can't use your magic other than granting wishes?
Fairy Godmother: I mean I could, but I'd get fired and I need this job.
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Peter Pan/ Skeleton and Tweedle Dum/ Skeleton: My skele senses are tingling!
*Pulls mask on*
Time to go terrorize donkey!
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Me/Mama bear and Tweedle Dum: The best people to give therapy are the ones who need it!
Tweedle Dum's Anger Management Therapy:
1.Peter Pan
2.Peter Pan
3.Peter Pan
4.Peter Pan
5.Peter Pan
6.TinkerBell
7.Bo Peep's sheep
Group Therapy with the Tweedles
Group 1:
Wolf, Red Riding Hood 3 Pigs
Couples Therapy with Mama Bear and Tweedle Dum:
ALL COUPLES (that aren't shrek and fiona or donkey and dragon)
Manners Class with Tweedle Dee:
Just come if you want.
I'm looking at you Pinocchio! - Tweedle Dum
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Baby bear: Mama this is my best friend Fiona. *Leads young Fiona over*
Me/Mama Bear: Nice to meet you.
*15 minutes later*
Young Fiona: your daughter was mean
Me/Mama Bear: What did she say?
Young Fiona: She said I'd be in a tower for 20 years!
Me/Mama Bear: You don't know that Baby.
Baby Bear: Yes we do!
Me/Mama Bear: But she doesn't!
*3 minutes later*
Baby Bear and Young Fiona: We made up!
-A little while later-
Young Fiona: My parents just abandoned me in a tower.
Me/Mama Bear: They're bad parents. Screw the plotline, I'm adopting you.
Baby Bear: I always wanted a sister!
Little Miss Muffet: But-
but the plotline!
Young Fiona: *Sassy hair flip*
Me/Mama Bear to Snow Queen/Happy Villager Mother: Why is it young Fiona more of a moody teen than teen Fiona?
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Village Mother/ Snow Queen: This my sister! *Points at Village Mother/Elf
Village Mother/Elf: I murdered my husband and hers.
Me/Mama Bear: I don't know what happened to my husband.
Village Mother/Elf: I killed him.
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Baby Bear and Me/Mama Bear: We don't talk about Papa Bear no no no...
WE DONT TALK ABOUT PAPA BEAR!
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Peter Pan and Sugar Plum Fairy got married and adopted a child she was a happy villager. When her parents were evicted from Duloc she wasn't allowed to go with them because she was human and adopted. She and her best friend disguised themselves as tweedles so she could be with her parents.
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Me/Mama Bear to a happy villager: Remember, when BBQing ogres put out all fires just like my friend Smokey Bear says!
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Mothers Group:
Mama Bear: Hi welcome!
Village Mother 2/Elf: I murdered my husband and my sister's
Queen Lillian: I locked my daughter in a tower.
Sugar Plum Fairy: I hit my daughter with a gummy knife.
~Vi
YOU ARE READING
Things only book nerds understand!
FanfictionLet's be real it is kind of a blog about random book stuff. It is a bit pointless and crazy but hopefully entertaining. Random one-shots, interviews, and short stories pop up throughout too.
