Little bit • Jasper hale

•11•

"You can do this! Just talk to him."

I shake my hands and get ready to knock on the door but I quickly pull away.

"No, no you can't do this! This is insa-Willow?" I stop talking to myself and stare at Jasper with wide eyes.

"What are y-I need to have sex with you!"

I'm actually going to jump.

Why would I say that?

"What?" I cover my face in embarrassment.

"Is everything ok?"

"Not really..." I mumble. He sighs and opens the door, allowing me inside. I see everyone in the livingroom making me antsy.

"Can we talk in privet?" He nods and motions towards the stairs.

We got to his room and I gravitate towards the window.

"Do you want to explain what you just said outside?"

I begin to play with my hands.

I notice I've been doing that a lot lately when I'm anxious.

"Umm, I-fuck!"

Why is this so hard to say? It shouldn't be difficult to explain why.

"You said you needed to have sex with me." I cringe at the words.

I never had a problem with it until now.

"Just tell me why you need to."

"I-in order for the birth to happen we need to...yeah."

I'm not looking at him but I can tell he's frozen.

"What if we don't?"

"Me and the babies die...fucked up I know. That's what being a demon does to you."

I watch as he sits on the edge of his bed, elbows against his knees, hands clasped together in a fist.

"I don't want to have sex with you."

Although the thought of him touching me like that freaks me out, it hurts hearing his words.

He can tell how I'm feeling, it's obvious in the way his head snaps towards me.

"Is it because I'm fat?"

"What? No Will-is it because I'm not Alice."

His gives me a hard glare and I quickly look away from him.

"It's because I'm scared Willow."

I frown in confusion.

"Scared? I mean we know why I'm scared but why are you?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you again."

I stay silent.

"I wasn't all there that night, when I came to my senses and saw how you were sprawled out on the blanket...I couldn't believe my eyes. It took me a second to realize that I had done it, but I didn't know what I did. I tried to wake you up. I yelled, shook you...I stayed with you for three hours before Edward found me. I didn't want to leave you, I couldn't. But he told me that when you woke you would be scared of me and leave, so I left first... when we went to Alaska, Edward explained what happened in full detail. He was able to pick apart my memories. Hearing the horrible details of things I did to you...it scared me. I hurt you willow...I ra-forced you into something you clearly did not want-"

He turns to look at me and his expression is hard, "-that is why I can't have sex with you. I don't have control."

"Well it's that or me and our kid di-you don't think I know that!" I jump hearing his loud voice and seeing him infront of me. "Do you think I want that? Hm? Do you think I want the love of my life to die? My own children?"