How are you not freaking out!?! (Damien X reader)

Pirates of the cabbagean

Y/N POV:

I woke up and grabbed a book, "hey Y/N? Where are you going?" Millie asked "just for a walk, I might do some reading as well" I Shrugged, "alright, have a good walk" Millie smiled as i left the Cabin.

I was walking around reading my book in peace, I passed a bush when Ripped jumped out and grabbed my book! "Ha! Watcha reading nerd? Words?" He laughed "give it back Ripper!" I yelled as I grabbed one end of the book, and from behind me i heard the familiar voice of Damien "Ripper, just give her the book-" "Damien! Go long!" He yelled as he threw my book! Damien caught it "here you go Y/N" he said "thank you Damien, Ripper if you ever pull a stunt like that again I will-" "wait!" He yelled, then he did the most disgusting thing imaginable. He farted and counted. "The under-18 record holder for the longest fart is a kid named Bucky Windhorn. He's the one who fired off that 48-second stink torpedo heard around the world" He explained "is that a real thing? Or are you just-" "I'm going to go before this gets any weirder" I said as I backed away awkwardly. What the actual hell was that!?!

AN:

I physically struggled to write that, idk how I'm going to write episode 5 lol

Y/N POV:

Once I got back I immediately told Millie about it and she immediately ran to where they were to question him. By the way Millie doesn't know that I know this, but she's writing a book on how messed up her generation is it's the only reason she's actually been talking to us. I may use it against her later, might not though. Then we were called by Chris for our second challenge.

We gathered on the beach to see two boats in the water " Welcome to your next challenge. To win this one you'll need to take the other team down, literally. Down to the bottom of the sea. Each ship is equipped with two functioning cannons once they're loaded just pull the rope to fire. And because our legal team refused to let us use actual cannonballs, the below deck area has been filled with heads of cabbage, just as deadly but rich in vitamin k which is great for you guys it helps with blood clotting." Chris smiled "Ooooo Blood!' Scary girl squealed with excitement, I suddenly I felt a shaky hand on my shoulder, I turned to see Damien. "Sorry she just freaks me out" he said, I looked back at her "understandable" I Shrugged as I felt my face heat up a tiny bit.

Y/N confesional:

"If anyone is wondering "Y/N? Will you get into a relationship?" I will just not on the island or the show, relationships mess things up. Need I remind long time viewers about Gwent, Duncney, Ozzy? What did these couples have in common? They got together on the show and things went horribly wrong, so no relationships!"

End of confessional

"Anyway once aboard the ships teams will need to decide who their captain is, who will bring the cabbages up from below deck, and who will work the cannons. Any player that falls in the water is out of the challenge and must swim to shore. the first team to sink the enemy ships for the win. the battle begins when I fire the blunderbuss. Chef on our take you to your ships" Chris announced as Chef drove over on a boat whilst being bitten by a parrot.

As soon as we got on Ripper and Axel started to fight for captain. So we voted and Axel won, however Ripped didn't want to listen to her so Axel kicked him off the boat! "Axel we're now one player short!" I yelled "yeah taking out our own team members is not how you win a challenge!" Priya agreed "way to go now we're down a player." Chase agreed "maybe you'd be in a better mood if you had eaten one of the squirrels." Axel said "hold up hold up time out, Eaten the what!?!" Damien asked in cornsern. Then Chris announced the beginning of the challenge! Me and Damien were handling a cannon together. I saw a cabbage heading my way and immediately dodged! But unfortunately Priya was behind me and got hit! "Oh God! I'm so sorry Priya!" I yelled as I was handed a Cabbage, I shot at the ship and it hit! Then I saw a cabbage going towards Damien! I immediately grabbed his hood and pulled him back and away from being hit "AHH- Oh Y/N, scared me" he said nervously "thank me later, we have a challenge to win" I smiled as I began to shoot at the other boat But as I thought nothing could go wrong:

"Attention pirates, there are now sharks in the water!" Chris announced "why!?!" Damien yelled back "because I put them there" Chris shrugged. "I can't believe he just said there were sharks in the-" before Damien could finish he was hit into the water! "Damien!" I Yelled, then it hit me. I actually cared, why do I care!?! I saw Scary girl had a cabbage in her hands "can I borrow that?" I asked, she just creepily stared at me "if Damien dies now he'll never scream again, you're call" I shrugged. She then handed me the cabbage and I ran towards the other side of the ship and loaded a cannon, I shot it at the shark and saved him "thanks Y/N! Thank you Thank you Thank you!" He yelled as I just looked at the shark he was standing on. "that was a great white! they're not even supposed to be in fresh water! The comprises the buoyancy in their liver, making it hard to-" "Damien! talk later! You've got another issue!" I yelled as I pointed at the shark. He then saw the shark and sped away, I smirked at him as he ran, but apparently that was enough to distract me and I was shot off!

As I landed in the water I immediately saw the shark! Then I remembered I covered this in training, contestants have had to deal with sharks before and most either ran or punched. I chose punch. After a brief fight with a shark I managed to make it back to the surface, once I got to land i heard Chris mocking my team through his megaphone. Yep that is definitely the Chris from the show. Hasn't changed at all. I walked towards Damien as he was probably the one I was the closest with in this game. "Thanks for saving me back there" he smiled nervously "no problem" i smiled, unfortunately we lost. To Wayne. WAYNE! Then something terrifying happened! Zee got attacked by shark and lost his leg! Damien hugged me in hear as he screamed at his Zee was missing a leg causing my face to heat up a bit. He was surprisingly chill about it! Then the shark spat it out, he had a prosthetic leg, thank God he hadn't actually lost his leg from that shark attack. I wonder how he lost it?

We sat at the campfire "welcome trouts, you'll be voting for the team member you feel should be eliminated tonight. And there are certainly options." Chris smiled "Y/N. You dodged the cabbage and didn't warn Priya before she got hit. Causing her to fall into the water" Chef said to me "I apologized already it was an accident!" I said as Priya nodded in understanding. "Zee you were the last member of your team's ship and you could have ended the challenge as a tie funstad you drove your ship into the rocks and sank it." Chef said to him. "Ripper you were in the water before the challenge even started. You one no help to your team" Chef continued "I hate to defend Ripper here but that was not his fault" I mumbled to Damien as he nodded. "Axle you were team captain and the first thing you did was kick one of your own players overboard." Chef fineshed. Luckily I was safe. The person that went home was Axel. So another's squirrel gets to keep their lives.

I sat on my now empty bunk bed, "sooo what was that stuff with Damien?" Priya asked "what do you mean?" I asked "well you saved him a bunch and he hugged you when we thought that p Zee lost his leg" She grinned "Priya he's my teammate and I wanted us to win the challenge so I had to save him. I'm just because he hugs me doesn't mean we're together" I said to her "besides if I was to get into a relationship it wouldn't be on the show. The show can really mess up relationships" I said "oh good point. Well, get some rest, see you tomorrow Y/N Priya smiled "yeah see ya" I smiled back.