PAPER FLOWERS || TAEKOOK

CHAPTER - 25

Sixth month dairy :-

Date - XX-XX-XXXX

Dear dairy

Luckily i'm alive , i almost gave up at the last moment but doctors saved me....
The thing i was afraid of happened two weeks ago. I got an heart attack. It was so painfull i thought i won't be able to survive but then i closed my eyes and started to think about taehyung and i don't know when i fell unconscious....... It won't be a lie if I'll say that it was taehyung who saved me not doctors..... When i opened my eyes i was in the hospital . Mom was crying , luckily dad was out of station for his work for a month. And somehow i convinced mom not to tell dad about it. I don’t know why but i don’t want my dad to know about my sickness....... Honestly i don't know the exact reason may be because I'm afraid that he will be disappointed on me or may be i haven’t forgave him yet for noona's death or may be i am just afraid that he won’t care about me. I don’t know why but it’s better not to tell him anything........

Thanks for listening,  this dairy is short as I'm still weak. See you next month , hopefully.......

Goodnight

Seventh month dairy :-

Date - XX-XX-XXXX

Dear dairy

I visited my doctor today. I had my ECG test yesterday and went to my doctor with reports. He said that i need a heart transplant. The operation date is in four months...... I'm scared but not as much as my mom. Doctor shouldn’t have said this infront of mom , she was panicking badly. It took me 2 hours to calm her down....... Looking my mom this worried about me , i felt weirdly happy. I felt like atleast there is one person who is afraid of loosing me. Atleast there is one person who will be affected by my absence...... I used to think that there is no one who loves me but i was wrong even though no one love or care about me but i still have my mom who loves me the most and cares about me so much....... But sometimes i can't help but to think if dad will be sad or not , it might be weird but i have already imagined my funeral. I have imagined mom crying her heart out but dad , what about dad? How will he react? I think most probably he will be standing behind with a straight face , or may be he will be sad...... And taehyungie will he miss me? I don’t think he would even notice my absence.. or would he? Ah no he definitely won't. But i want him to visit me on my funeral to say goodbye...... Oh god it went too emotional , it's not like I'm dying anytime soon hehe....

That's it for this month , thank you for listening my stupid thoughts. I will See you next month , hopefully.......

Goodnight

Eighth month :-

Date - XX-XX-XXXX

Dear dairy

Dad yelled at me today. He said my professor called him and complained him that neither i attend my classes nor i complete my assignments..... Dad asked me what do i write in my notebooks all night if it's not my assignments. He said when he got up to drink water last night and he saw that light of my room was on so he decided to check and he saw me writing , he thought i was doing my college work..... I didn’t say anything so he asked again that what was i doing but this time he got pissed off with my silence and when i said nothing he got even more pissed and went from there saying that I'm worthless of being his son...... I didn’t want to make him mad but i couldn’t tell him that yes i was doing assignments but not mine. It was tae’s assignments..... It's not like i don’t want to complete my assignments but i don’t get time to complete my own. And about not attending class , its not that i like to bunk classes but after getting beaten up by tae i don't have any strength left to even get up so i always spend almost an hour lying there..... I'm not complaining about tae , i'm happy to help him anyway. Atleast this way he knows that i exist...... Doing his homework and taking his punches are nothing i can do alot more for him.....

Thanks for listening . See you next month , hopefully.......

Goodnight