PARADISE

♡ | PARADISE | ♡ 16: LATE NIGHTS

'When you cry a piece of my heart dies 

Knowing that I may have been the cause 

If you were to leave 

Fulfill someone else's dreams 

I think I might totally be lost 

You don't ask for no diamond rings no delicate string of pearls 

That's why I wrote this song to sing 

My beautiful girl.'

I felt so pathetic.

I shouldn't have admitted my feelings, it is obviously too soon.

I needed Marina, but I didn't want to disturb her happy times with my petty problems.

I heard a rap on the door.

"Lana!" He hollered.

Shit, it's him!

I wasn't ready to confront him, just yet.

David burst through the door and I felt even more vulnerable.

We stared at each other and neither of us spoke.

David pulled me into his arms and held me close.

I couldn't support the closeness and his tantalizing scent.

Tears brimmed my eyes.

He didn't love me.

I felt so stupid and worthless.

David pulled me away and noticed my tears.

He wiped them away and caressed my face.

"None of that sugar. You don't deserve this sadness."

I whimpered softly and looked away from him.

David kissed my forehead and pulled me in for another hug.

I steadied my breathing and straightened myself out.

I followed the wise word's of Liz Taylor:

"Pour yourself a drink. 

Put on some lipstick, 

and pull yourself together."

I repeated this mantra several times and stepped away from David.

"I should go." I finally spoke.

David's expression changed, it hardened.

I tried to walk past him, but he clinged onto my arm.

"Lana, I'm sorry." He apologized.  

I shook my head.  

"It's alright." I half-smiled. 

"Won't you at least let me take you home?" He asked.  

"I can manage. Thank you, David, have a nice night."

He reluctantly let me go and I scanned the room for Marina.

She was dancing with Azealia and she looked so joyful, I didn't want to destroy her happiness, but I needed her support.

I joined them.  

"Marina, can you take me home. I'm sorry, to ruin your night."  

"No, baby, It's alright. 

just let me get my shit together."  

I turned towards Azealia.  

"I'm so sorry, honey. I'm just having a shit night."