Struggling? Suffering? I don't know anymore, I know that all I want to do is play football,but after that I have no clue. Watch as I - Tessa Walter- suffer in a universe I dont belong in.
I wake up early so I scroll onto instagram. I see Fern posted.
@fernwalter
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Take me back to Gran Canaria ❤️
@emilyhart: pretty xx @harlowadams: x @skylarevans: wow View 57 comments
It turns 7:15 so I go into ferns room and wake her up. "Fern wake up" I say She does and asks "can I have my phone" "No, how did you post on insta this morning?" I ask "It was before I got to Colney last night actually" she says "Okay" I say She gets up and I go downstairs, I start making breakfast, Fern comes down. "I'm sorry for yesterday I should of kept you and Leah's sex life private" she says "Look fern, there are things that are meant to stay a secret. And I'm still really mad at you, why do you think I sent you to your room last night without even saying good night. I'm so fed up of your behaviour, and how you're acting. It's not fair on me or anyone, your teachers are there to help you, so quit acting all hard. Look, Delilah and Adam are fine, I'm fine, so how come you act out?" I ask "I know, I just I can't control it" she says "And what happened at school? Are you being serious? You gained yourself a detention on your second day" I say "I lost it, the man was getting on my nerves" she says "I understand that people get on your nerves but that doesn't mean you can just shout at them. If they annoy you, just prove them wrong and I'm not saying make a scene, I'm saying prove them wrong that you can do the work. Because Fern you're a smart girl you just act like a dumbass. Who you even trying to impress anyway? Fern, life isn't about relationships" I say "I know, I know and I feel really bad. I knew I had done it and I could see you were mad, but then I made it worse" she says "Exactly, but just because your saying sorry doesn't mean your getting your phone back" I say "I want you to prove it, apologise to Leah, apologise to the girls, help around the house. Actually prove it, and behave at school. Every time you don't it will be another day without your phone" I say "Okay" she says. Leah comes down "morning" she says "Morning" I say "Leah, I'm sorry. I shouldn't of said what I did to the girls yesterday" Fern says "Well it's done now, the full world may as well know" Leah says "You realise that saying things like that creates rumours and I haven't been effected yet but when you make a name for yourself every reporter or news journalist tries to find every detail about you" Leah says "I didn't mean to" Fern says "I just need you to understand the severity of it" Leah says "I do, I really do" Fern says "Good, so if you really realise it I'll say it again, prove it" I say "We need to go" I say We quickly eat breakfast and head into the car. I drive to ferns school and walk in with her. She goes straight to her friends, I talk to the receptionist "hi, my sister Fern Walter has a detention tonight what time does it finish so I know what time to pick her up?" I say "It finishes 4:30, also have you had a phone call of Mr Khan" she asks "Yes I have" I say "Okay, well that's all" she says "Thanks" I say I look around and see Fern coming towards me with a bunch of girls (probably 3). "Tessa, meet my friends. Skylar, Harlow and Millie" she says "Hey" I say "Be a good girl today Fern, and I mean it. If you're not you know what's happening. Also, after I pick you up we are heading straight to Colney for your training. Don't worry the girls are there for you to apologise too." I say "Okay" she says "I've got to go, Leah's waiting, I love you ferny" I say "Bye Tess" she says I get into the car "everything go okay?" Leah asks "Yeah, I met her friends" I say "Are they nice" Leah asks "Yeah" I say I look at Leah and kiss her. "So what are we?" Leah asks once we've pulled away from each other. "What do you want us to be?" I ask "I don't know" she says "Well, are we talking, or do you want to date?" I say "I just want you to be mine" she says and kisses me again. "So girl friends?" I ask "Girlfriends" Leah says "But we ain't saying anything to fern she will spill our secrets" Leah says with a laugh. "To be fair" I say I drive to Colney. We walk in together and go into the dining room. "Aah there's the two mothers" Beth says "Shut up" Leah says "Didn't have much sleep last night?" Beth asks smirking "Yes I did, I was in bed by 10pm" Leah says "And what about Fern how is she?" Jen asks "Alright, although she's not too happy without having her phone" my phone starts ringing it's the school. "For fuck sake what's she done now" I say "Hello" I say and put it on speaker. "Hi it's Miss Bell, your sister has just came into my room crying, she was saying that some boy was hitting her and yeah" she says "Is she okay? Do I need to come and get her?" I ask "I think she's having a panic attack, could you talk to her?" Miss bell says "Ferny, listen to me. Tell me 5 things you can see" I say "Errr.... Erm.... Miss bell.... A wall..... tables.....ch..airs.......flo...or" she says "Right now 4 things you can hear" I say "People..... you...... cha...irs.... Talking" she says "Right count 1-10 for me" I say 1....2.....3......4......5......6.....7......8.....9......10" she says "Keep going your doing so good, now think what are you doing tonight tell me" I say "Detention, then training" she says shakily "Do you have some water near you?" I ask "Yeah" she says She takes a drink "Listen, do you want me to come and get you and you can hang with us today?" I ask "Yeah" she says. "Alright I'll be there in 5 minutes" I say. The call ends I grab my keys and leave. I get to the school and pick her up. She gets in the car and starts crying more. "Tell me what happened?" I say "I was walking through the corridors..with the girls...... and this boy came up to us and started squeezing my arse...... then he tried to kiss me...... he was pulling my bra strap..... and I just.... I just left.... I saw miss bell" she says "I'm glad you did, I'll phone the school later and ask for a meeting because that's not on" I say
