Keep Dreaming

Chapter 17

We arrived back in North London after spending the week in Newcastle. I go into the kitchen as Leah went to pick Dixie up. There was a knock on the door "hey" I say as I see Amanda stood there. "Hello" she says and pulls me into a hug. "Leah's out at the moment, but what can I get you to drink?" I ask
"A coffee please dear, but I'm actually here to see you" she says as we walk into the kitchen. "Me?" I question
"I heard about your dad and I'm so sorry for your loss dear" she says
"Thanks Amanda" I say
I give her, her coffee and I say "so what's up?"
"Leah was telling me you didn't want to get married. I not here to convince you either don't worry" she says with a warming smile
"It's not that. I grew up around two people who didn't know what true love was. I know it exists i mean I'm living it, you know. But the thought of marriage scares me, and I'm not saying I'm going to hurt Leah or anything by leaving her, but the thought of marriage is like a fear to me in a way. Everyone in my family who's been married it's always been like a curse. My mum and dad, my sister and her husband. It just, I don't know seems to effect my family and I don't like the thought of being trapped" I explain
"Can I show you something? Well not show you, but tell you a little story" she says
"Yeah sure" I say
"I was once young as well, I met this boy called David and he was a twat, he would literally throw stuff at me for no reason. Me and my friends would laugh at his antics. But then we started to get to know each other, he was a lot like you. He wanted no marriage, kids but no marriage. After being together for 7 years he still had that same mindset. My dream was to wear a white flowy dress my dad walking me down the aisle and marrying the love of my life. But that dream was crushed, until he surprised me and proposed when we had been together for 9 years. I don't know what changed, but please don't rule marriage out all together" Amanda says
"I'm not David though, I know I won't change my mind. It's too hard" I say
"And if- if that's Leah's dream I don't want to get in the way of that" I say
"Look, Leah's never going to break up with you because she loves you. And as much as she says getting married doesn't matter to her, it does, and it did to me, so please just think about it a bit more" she says
Luckily we were saved by the door. Leah coming in with Dixie "hey Dixie" I say and lean down to the chocolate Labrador. "Oh hey mum" Leah says
She goes to kiss me but I dodge her and go upstairs.
I go into ferns room, I see the two girls laid on her bed. "What's up?" Fern asks as she sees me in the doorframe, "can I ask you girls something?" I say closing the door
I sit on the end of the bed. "Amanda just basically told me I have to marry Leah, I don't want to be married" I say
"We know. What did Amanda exactly say? Maybe you misunderstood" Grace says
"She said that Leah will never break up with me because she loves me but when she says that she doesn't want to be married she does and therefore I should think about marriage more" I say
"So are you going to think about it?" Fern asks
"No of course not, I made that decision when I was 7 and it still stands" I say
"Maybe talk to Leah?" Grace suggests
"I don't k-" I go to say
'What you all doing in here?" Leah asks
"Just talking" Fern says
"My mum just left" she says
I get up as Leah came closer to me and go into our bedroom.

Leah POV

"What's up with her" I ask Fern
"Maybe because your mum just gave her a lecture on the fact she has to marry you and that you do care if you don't get married but you won't break up with her because you love her. So she's really overthinking everything thinking she's going to end up being married because of your mum when she doesn't want to be" Fern explains

Tessa POV

I start  cleaning up the room, I feel arms wrap around me. I knew immediately I was safe, "whatever my mam said needs to be ignored okay. She's just upset she's not going to attend a wedding okay" Leah says
"Be truthful with me Leah" I say
"Do you want to be married." I ask. There was a bit of silence "in the future maybe" she says
My heart drops "but, I'll do anything for you" Leah adds
I stand looking out the window, watching as the trees move in the wind, "it's not a big deal to me" Leah says
"What's the big deal is that we have children together, grow old together married or not. Our kids get their bikes and you teach them how to ride the bike in the street outside. Them ringing the bell as they approach you and starting to laugh and when they fall, you help them back  up. Making sure they are definitely arsenal supporters, you will teach them how to save a goal or score a penalty past their own mum. Dixie running outside lying down watching her siblings mess around in the garden. Then when we go on holiday making sure they wear enough suncream so they don't get burnt. That's what matters to me" Leah says
"But what about your mum?" I say
"My mum isn't the one in this relationship" Leah says kissing my cheek
"Okay" I say and turn to her kissing her.