Struggling? Suffering? I don't know anymore, I know that all I want to do is play football,but after that I have no clue. Watch as I - Tessa Walter- suffer in a universe I dont belong in.
The next morning me and Leah drop them off at school. "We have training today" Leah says "I don't know le" I say "I know, I'll just tell the girls there's a sickness bug" Leah says "No. Please you go" I say "I'm not leaving you. I care about you too much to leave you" she says "I'll go then. I'll watch yous train, I'll talk to Jonas" I say "You sure?" Leah asks looking at me quickly as she's driving. "Yeah" I say
We get home and Leah gets changed but I stay in my Nike hoodie and jeans, alongside my Nike air max 90s. We drive to Colney and I start to tense up, "hey it's going to be okay" Leah says holding my hand. "We can leave if you need too" Leah says quickly kissing me before we get out the car. We both go inside, I go into the changing rooms and sit in my locker on my phone. "Not training kid?" Katie asks I look at her, remembering what my dad calls me. 'Kid' "Er..l erm... no" I say stuttering "You good?" She asks 'Er yeah" I say I leave the room and find Jonas. "Could I have a word with you please?" I say "Of course come in" he says I sit down and say "I need sometime away from the pitch. My dads passed away and I need to be around my family" "I'm so sorry for your loss. Of course you can have time away" he says "Thank you so much" I say "Please, if you need anything find me or any of the girls we are always here" he says "I know, thank you jonas" I say
I leave his office and go back into the changing rooms. I see arsenal posted.
@arsenalwfc
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Due to personal circumstances, our number 16 Tessa Walter will not be available for the next game, if she needs longer you will all be updated, however just because she is not available doesn't mean it gives you the right to try and get photos with her, please be aware not everyone is in the right mindset at times. Arsenal WFC
@arsenalwomenfanx: thought it was a leaving post! @awfcgirls: hope she's back soon! @lionessesandarsenal!: we need this girl View 59,282 comments
After everyone finishes training me and Leah head home, ready for a long journey up north. Fern had got an authorised absence for the week since she was coming with us, and I said Grace could come and we would call the school every morning saying she was ill. We get dixies stuff sorted as Kim agreed to look after her for the week. I make sure to get everyone's bags in the boots as we heading straight off once fern and Grace finish school. I go back inside and me and Leah take Dixie on her last walk with us. Once we get back it's 2:45 so we get Dixie in the car. We drive to Kim's. "Hey Kim" I say as me and Leah stand at the door as she opens it. "Come on in" she says We have a coffee and a chat with Kim before having to leave. I say goodbye to Dixie with a couple hugs and kisses and then we head to the school. Fern and Grace get in the car.
"Ready to go girls" I say "Road trip!" Leah says "How was school?" I ask as Leah starts to drive "So you know how i moved maths" Fern says "Yeah" I say "Mr khan kept coming in and making comments about me, to my full class. Letting the full class know about the situation with dad" she says "Oh for fuck sake" I say "Language" Fern mocks "Shut up" I say The two in the back go into their own conversation. "What you going to do?" Leah asks "No idea, but I'd rather not think about that right now" I say grabbing her hand "Pit stop at McDonald's?" Leah suggests "Sure" I say Leah pulls in and we go through the drive thru. We get our stuff and eat on the way. We hadn't even made it 2 hours and Fern was complaining she was bored. "Fern seriously? Is your phone not charged?" I ask "It is, but I've watched everything on Netflix possible" she complains "Look over your training videos, see if there's anywhere you could improve" I suggest After another hour I look in the back to see Grace asleep on ferns shoulder, "what do I do now?" She asks "What do you mean?" I say "Well I can't do anything" she says "Oh for god sake fern. Just be patient and let your girlfriend fall asleep" I say "Maybe you should go to sleep Fern" Leah says "Great" she says sarcastically
