Battlefield.

01

I stared at my girlfriend-now my wife's face as the wind making her soft blonde hair covering her puffy pale cheeks, I tucked her hair behind her ear, making my view of her face clearer. It's been a year she entered my life as my wife and there's not even a moment I regret about it. After all the battlefield we gone through, I'm glad that you're mine, and will always be my princess. In another life, I will still choose you, even if I need to go through the same hardships again.

"Babe.." I giggled as I heard her sweet like honey voice. "I'm here, love" she smiled as she heard my voice. "Or should I call you, Prince Nathaniel instead?" She giggled. "Sorry to disappoint you but I'm a mere citizen now, but you will always be my princess in my heart" I laughed as she lightly punched me on my chest. "Ouch.." i bitted my lower lips. The numbness began through my skin. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain inside of my body, which bring me back to my darkest, and painful memory that I wish, I could ever bury and forget. Her voice suddenly shrunk so deep that I feel like I was falling into a hole of darkness.

+2002+

I put a small pencil above my head and marked my height on the wall.

— Nath April 2002

I wrote it down and take a glimpse on the other mark from different month and year, until the first line on the bottom of the wall.

—  Nath July 1998

Probably around 96cm. My eyes then found its way to the meds rack nearby. I moved my eyes to the ticking wall clock. It was full of dirt, well who in the right mind would tidy a jail up, right? 12:55pm. Another 5 minutes, food will be served and I need to take my meds after that.

I rested my head at the wall, looking up at the endless height-ceiling, and looking around at the endless spaces. A bit too wide for a one person "home". A smile formed on my face. Funny how I can say that this abandoned place, full of dirts, dust, with no lights, is my home. As a 4 years old kid, isn't this too much? My eyes then focused on the noise made my the gate, showing that someone is entering my "home". I stared at the clock, oh, it's 1pm. It's lunch time. Man with shining bright armor making his way near me with a food tray on his hand.

"Don't forget your meds after this, your highness." He said.

Your highness? That title made me nothing but nauseous. I am no royal. I am just an unwanted figure. An accident. A mistake.

+1994+

A loud painful yet joyful voice filled the castle. The people are waiting for their prince. Little that they know, it's actually the princes. The Queen delivered to a twin princes. As many of normal human beings would be jumping in joy while having a twins, but not this family. They believe that it was a bad omen for having identical twins, which then become the beginning of chaos in both of the newborn princes' life. The eldest was named Nicholas Spencer, while the younger named Nathaniel Spencer. Their father; Henry Spencer is currently the King and by right, Nicholas is the next ruler in line. The King has a younger brother; Prince James Spencer, and all of the royalties live in a classic yet standing majestically in the Lord Spencer Royal Castle.

The news about the birth of the twins made the King obviously furious and paranoid as this could bring misfortune to their family; as what they believe. All the maids, butlers, doctors, and nurses who knew about the twins were killed at once, to avoid the news from spreading. The twins then being taken care by a special nannies whom their families were held as hostages, if they dare to open their mouth, everyone and every generation of their families will be beheaded. Not long after that, the younger brother was afflicted by a heart disease which making the royal family living in paranoia. They were scared that their reign would end in a tragedy. The royal family has always planned to killed Nathaniel but his brother, the first prince, Prince Nicholas loves his little brother dearly, even as a baby, he can't be separated from his little brother. He would cry nonstop if he didn't feel the presence of his twin, which delayed the death of Nathaniel.

Years by years, their brotherhood were stronger each day. It was a happy moment for the both of them, when they played together, sometimes with their uncle— Prince James Spencer. Nicholas always thought his uncle as his second father, as their uncle always spend time with them, play with them and teach them, well, at least for Nicholas.

Nathaniel was a happy, bright child. Ever since he was small, he was always been intelligent in his studies. He was so smart that he was able to read about political science when he was just four years old. His brother on the other hand was better at holding swords since young age. Little that Nathaniel knew, his intelligence was actually a sin. Once his parents found out about it, Nathaniel was dragged by his father's knight to the dungeon for the first time, and he was just turned four.

"What is this place.. I hate it here, please bring me out," said Nathaniel in a shaky voice. He was confused, and scared, not knowing what sin did he committed. He was just a child after all. "I want my brother, please call my brother here!" He shouted while knocking the door in front of him. His pale fist now turned red as he didn't stop knocking for a very long time. His hand automatically stopped as he heard footsteps approaching him. "Nick! I'm here! I'm here!" He shouted. To his surprise, the door opened, and a very familiar face showed up. "Father you came! I-", "I am not your father. My son, Prince Nicholas will sit on my throne and he doesn't need a sick little brother like you. You're nothing but a burden. I should have killed you the first moment you're born." The King said as he punched the wall. Nathaniel was in terror. "B-but father.. I promise I will be good.. I never wanted the throne.. I just want my brother.. and mother.. I'm scared.." Nathaniel said with water in his eyes. The King scoffed. "Without you, your brother will be happier. Everything that I have now will be his. Your filthy soul means nothing to him. Guards!" A group of knight in armour lined up in front of the King. "Make sure he takes his medicine on time. Do not let him killed himself. Nicholas is still weak. He will be trained to be selfish and strong so that he will not have any weaknesses to rule. I will make him my strongest weapon. But for now, keep him alive. Don't let anyone find out, especially Nicholas." "Yes, your majesty!" The knights reply in unison. The King then made his way out from the dungeon, leaving Nathaniel in a great pain. His chest felt heavy, like needles digging his heart out. His breath was short. He felt suffocated. Everything in a four years old kid imagination that is full of rainbow and sunshine collapsed. His sight was blurry and the last thing he felt was a cold cement on his cheeks, and he ended up in an endless darkness.

Is this what death feels like?