Submit to Me

27 - Aaron *

I couldn't do the type of punishment Sloane wanted me to do to her anymore.

I just couldn't.

What she's looking for me to do is not what I call fun.

Sure, I enjoy teasing about punishing her if she refuses to listen to me or do what I ask her to do. And I should discipline her for freaking me out, but I can't. I want to punish her in a fun, sexual way—not angrily punish her because she upset me.

Everything Sloane's wishing I do makes me feel like I'm abusing her. And that's not how I want to feel.

After learning her husband had his hands on her, I especially don't want to be known as that guy. And I don't want to be the one to bring back old wounds should something go wrong with the type of punishment she wants.

I enjoy spanking her, and I love seeing my handprint temporarily branded on her skin, but it doesn't thrill me to see my marking on her ass over my loathing about her hiding things from me.

"We can't do this anymore," I said, untying and removing the blindfold from Sloane's eyes. "This isn't me. This isn't who I am. This isn't what I enjoy doing."

"What?" she asked, confused, shifting her head to the side. "I don't understand. You're always telling me you'll punish me if I don't listen or do what you want me to do or say."

"Yes. I know. But I'd rather punish you in a fun way. Not this way," I explained, plopping onto my back beside her. Looking at Sloane, I reached for her, pulled her into my arms, and held her tight. "After you said Logan's hands were on you, your daughter as a witness, my conscience tells me I need to approach your situation differently."

"That's different. What Logan did isn't the same as what you're trying to do to help me. He tried to help me end my life. You're trying to help me see that my life is valued, that I belong here, and that you and I belong together. There's a difference," she tried justifying, but I still wasn't having it.

Pulling her to my mouth, I pressed my lips to hers and smiled against them. "Your life is valued; you do belong here, and you and I belong together. If you see that now, there's no reason to beat that message into your mind."

She blinked a few times as she soaked in my words.

Her gaze on me thickened as she thought about responding to my genuine statement. Finally, she whispered, "I don't want to be the person you've known me to be since returning to Chicago. I want to be looked at as the girl you wanted when we were in high school. I want to be back in her shoes, clothes, mind, heart, and soul. I want my old self back, Aaron. Something needs to be done to help snap me back into that person, into that mind frame I'm desperately craving to return to."

I slid my fingers through her hair and pulled her to my mouth, softly and slowly kissing her lips, my tongue on edge, desperate to ravish the girl I was holding dear in my arms, craving to taste every inch of her while showing her, I'll have her back to her old self without my having to punish her.

I want to show her that I can bring her back to who she desires to be, not by disciplining her but by showing her affectionately that she's valued in my heart, eyes, mind, and soul.

I want Sloane to see and feel I want her for who she is—for who she was and who she is now.

I don't want her to feel I'm punishing her for what was said and done twenty years ago, and I don't want to punish her into believing it's what's needed for her to snap out of what she's going through.

Breaking from Sloane's luscious lips, I gazed into her eyes and caressed her bottom lip with my thumb while genuinely telling her, "I promise you. You'll be back to who you want to be in no time. I'll have you back to being the person you desire to be without having to beat it into you to be that person. Let me help you the way I'd like to help you. Don't let Trent's suggestion allow you to believe that's what needs to be done to help you. I want you to listen to me and my sister's suggestions. Let me show you you're worth being here without using my hand, a paddle, a flogger, or even having to dangle you from the air. I promise you, I'll never walk away or threaten discipline should you do or say something to anger me. If you follow my advice, not my friends but mine and my sister's suggestions, you'll be that person you've desired to be for years—without physical punishment."