The Land Which Bears Your Footprints

Chapter 5 - 'Cause Out Here In The Darkness

Author's Note: Everything blows up. ;)

~ Amina Gila

Rey's blood runs cold. She feels frozen as she stares at her grandfather. It's – She – Yes, it was inevitable that she'd have to do something like this eventually – she already knew Luke would end up dead somewhere along the way most likely – but it's entirely different to hear that this is her order. And that she's the one who's supposed to do it.

She's supposed to kill Luke, who's also Ben's uncle. And he was her son in a past life, even if she obviously doesn't feel that way about him anymore.

It shouldn't even be a question, because this is her mission, her purpose, everything Sidious has trained her for, for years. (It occurs to her suddenly, that he hasn't even asked her if she's okay, or how she's been, and she... never even thought of that as a common courtesy until Ben did it once. It's not even fair to be hurt by that. He's busy. He's working for the good of the galaxy. She's being selfish, but it just... stings.)

"How do I do that?" Rey asks finally, desperately, frankly trying to find some reasons why she can't do it. "He's a Jedi Master, and he would sense it coming."

"You have shielded yourself the entire time you were there, so they didn't sense the Dark Side surrounding you. If you shield your intentions, finding a way will not be difficult," he replies, "But do not use a method that can be traced back to you. Poisoning would... be most effective, or some other... accident. Do not forget it was primarily because of him that the Empire fell. And it was because of this that your parents were killed, simply for being supporters of the Empire. If not for Skywalker and his Jedi friends, you would have been raised a princess in the Empire."

Right.

She knows that, and she has to stop forgetting it. She's been distracted, with... everything she was taught against. Sidious told her that her parents died because of the New Republic, though she never asked for details. Never really wanted to.

"I'll do it, Grandfather," she replies, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Do not let yourself get distracted," he adds, though it's more gently chiding than sharp. "Report back to me when you have completed the mission."

She nods numbly, before he breaks the connection, leaving her alone in the room.

For a long moment, Rey sits there frozen.

She's supposed to kill Luke. She has to kill him. And even if she can ignore everything of her past life and remind herself that after everything he's done, like killing millions of people on the Death Star, he probably deserves it, it – But it'll hurt Ben, too. And she can't... do that. She can't.

(She knew this was coming. Knew it from the start. Luke was her son in a different life, and she knew that someday, Sidious would give her orders to kill him, but that doesn't make it any easier to hear it. What is she supposed to do?!)

But she has to, right? But –

All she wants to do is curl up in a ball and cry, but it won't make this stop or go away.

But she's all alone in this, and she has no idea what to do, by herself. She leans against the side of the bed, tears stinging her eyes, and she lets them fall. She has a mission that she has to carry out, but she can't, and she has no idea what to do.

***

Ben can't say why he wakes up, a few days after his excursion to visit his parents, with the feeling that something's wrong, but there's something nagging at him that he can't quite shake. Or maybe it's just that he's been thinking a lot about what Leia was saying. He hadn't noticed anything suspicious about Rey, not until the morning after he got that odd feeling in the middle of the night.