Love, Pain & Me

Once a fortnight when i dont feel so strong

Silence hangs in hallways that were so evergreen
Probably will not
Come back here
Ever again
I've lost home
I've been orphaned
My people have left me
Or did I leave first?
I don't know
I just live so hazily
It's not the drugs
I don't take them everyday
But I don't know
When the day began
Or when it ended
It is all so mixed up in my head
But it's not the drugs I take
Or the ones I don't take
Even when I should
Once a fortnight when I don't feel so strong
He says, "Turn it off when things go wrong"
He thought that was the exception
He's wrong
Because I have good intentions but things never work out for me
So he is wrong and I turn it off

How do I love again?
When I reach for my heart
It is cold and hard
So how do I feel again?
I cry at the slightest inconvenience
How do I risk it again?
It is annihilated
There's nothing but bitter resentment
And I'm not to be taken in by the faint hearted
I have issues with attachment
So once every fortnight when I don't feel so strong I run away
Even when staying is perfectly natural

I had a feeling
It was strong
I was Standing on my cliff of sadness
Listening to my favourite song
Watching my city burn
Crackling when I knew it was wrong
Something I think about sometimes too less sometimes too long
Before dreamless sleep traps me in madness
Before I lose myself to my thoughts