Echoes of the Heart

Cruel

I got myself ready for school and met with Kaley. I hadn't slept, she asked me about it and I just gave an excuse.

It was all the energy I had. I grabbed my coffee and decided to head towards my locker. I didn't use it much. Only when I didn't want to carry so many books. My friend Chelsea from Theatre used it more than I did. We shared it since she enrolled late and this was closer to her classes. She had forgotten the combination again so I went to go meet her. I had time. I could use a change of scenery. Being alone with my thoughts wasn't going to solve my problems.

"Hey, sorry I hope you weren't busy." She said kindly.

"Not really, just grabbing coffee the usual."

"Oh I thought you were with Spencer." She teased.

"No I haven't seen him yet." I was avoiding him. Especially after Maddox yesterday.

I started to fidget with the locker, and started to open it for her. A crowd of people came in the doors from outside. Students being dropped off. 

"Speaking of" Chelsea says. It was Spencer he came up next to me and gave me a hug. It made me feel better. It made me forget my troubles. Just briefly.

"Hey I didn't see you in the library."

"Sorry Chelsea needed help with the locker."

"It's fine. I just wanted to see you before class." He kissed me. His lips were soft against mine. I loved kissing him. It felt right. "I got to get to class though, but I wanted to do that first." We smiled at each other. I kissed him again before he left for class on the other side of school.

I lingered with Chelsea, talking about Theater and things our first classes were down the hall, so we had time.

Another crowd of kids came in the door from the drop off lane.

"Stephanie, I see you didn't take me seriously."

Shit. I think. Theres no way. He saw me and Spencer. He saw us kiss. Shit.

I was frozen in fear and trembling. Chelsea noticed, quickly reacting and drug me away from our locker and down the hall.

"Don't make me be mean Steph. You don't want to see him hurt do you?" He teased.

She ran faster, pulling my arm behind her, I tried to keep up. She didn't stop until we made it to the front office. Until we were safe.

"He shouldn't follow us here." She said.

"Who shouldn't?" The secretary asked.

I was frozen. Frozen in fear. In shock. He had walked almost up to me in my school. The one place I thought he couldn't go.

Chelsea was explaining what had happened to the secretary and she quickly phone the campus police.

She told them what she knew, which wasn't much. She knew he was my ex because we had double dated once. She didn't know about why we broke up. I hadn't told her, but she figured it out based off him breaking his way into the school this morning. The bell rang. Waking me from my terror.  I told the officer what I knew and what happened. He told me that he would escort me to class without making it obvious. Chelsea would walk with me. He said he would email our teachers and let them know what happened and to be discreet.

I kept cursing to myself the whole way to class. I was out of it for most of the morning. I even ignored the message from my mom saying "going to miss you :)". Leaving her on read. I couldn't keep doing this I couldn't risk Spencer getting hurt. He mattered too much too much. Fuck. I loved him. I loved him and I hadn't told him. I couldn't now. I couldn't tell him the truth and I had no way of knowing how he would react. Fuck. This had to be the end. For his safety and future. I had to end it. No matter how much it hurt. No matter how I feel. Losing him to Maddox would kill me. Losing him at all was going to hurt, but knowing he could be happy and safe again. Even without me. I could risk that. Maybe. I had to. I cant be selfish with him.