Circus Lucida 🎭

Chapter 15: Uncertainty

One of my earliest memories starts with me sobbing. I refused to be soothed no matter what Mom and Dad tried

Eventually Dad gave up and left the room. Mom tried her best but she too eventually gave up.

But he didn't. He would hug me, caress me, hold my hand and wipe my tears no matter how much I cried.
"Don't cry Lynette... your big brother is here. You don't need to cry"

I had always considered Lyney stronger than most people. Cause he would protect me from everything I feared.

Apparently I was born with a rare genetic constitution which came from one of our ancient ancestors. That is what caused me to have ... cat like ears. And all the children hated me for that. If it wasn't for Lyney, I wouldn't have been able to grow up as a child showered with love.

But my parents cared just as much.

Except, by the time I had realized that, they were already gone...

Gone way beyond the mortal realm of us humans.

They died in a car accident.
I still to this day wonder... why? Why them? What did they ever do wrong to deserve a fate as cruel as that?

And what did Lyney and I do to deserve to live in this cruel world all by ourselves...?

We were only 8.

Apparently, my parents had been saving up money for my surgery after which I would have normal ears like humans.

They worked day and night to save it all.

Perhaps they were going to surprise me.

Mom... dad... I am sorry for being such a bad kid...

None of our relatives cared for me and Lyney.

"Drop them off at the orphanage "- this was the common sentiment among everyone.

But Lyney refused to go.

Eventually we cut all our ties with those relatives.

The money that our parents had saved up was enough to last for a while. But we knew that we needed to work.

So we started doing street performances. Lyney was the magician and me his magic assistant. That was when we had turned 11.

We would travel far and wide sometimes in search of a good bunch of kids who were  interested in seeing a blooming rose dissapear or a bird flying out of an empty hat.

Of course we travelled on foot.

In one cold evening, we realized that we had both travelled way too far to go back. It was cold and We were freezing.

"I am so cold Lyney..."

He gave me his shirt and sang.

Sang as we both sat on the snow and in between two buildings projecting into the roads.

"Lyney... I am hungry"

He immediately went and brought some cake for me.

He did all that while he himself shivered in the cold and could pass out of hunger himself.

That was when I realized- "This won't do"

Lyney would give up everything of his to fulfil all my wishes. He didn't care about himself at all. He was prepared to die if that's what it required. And that thought scared me.

So I became silent.

If I want something- don't say it.

If the dress on display is pretty- don't say it.