coming undone! | gayeon

chapter 5

And it took him exactly two weeks, fourteen long days full of smiles, so-called sincere talks and simply time spent together, to ruin it. Maybe it was better than staying in such toxic surroundings. 

He didn't know what kind of manipulator he would call him but he was the worst thing that ever happened to him. 

Jiseok was so mad at that moment, that he wanted to squeeze his throat till he died. He wanted to watch him suffer after what he had done to him. He wanted to see him cry from pain and finally understand what Jiseok was going through. He wanted it so much.

No, he didn't... Not at all. 

Still, he was extremely pissed, he thought it was all real but to his surprise, even such pretty boys can be good liars. Perfect liars. He thought it was sincere, he thought he was into him but no. It was all a beautiful lie. 

It hurt him so badly but the anger boiling in his blood was worse, he wanted to shout out how much he hated him now. He felt a grip in his lungs, closing the small gap between them and it felt as if the said substance was growing in his throat. 

He wanted to cough, cry, scream and punch something so much. It was devastating. That one small piece of information caused him to remember everything that used to bother him in the past. This doubled the pain, maybe even tripled it. 

He couldn't understand him at all. What was that the boy felt to him? Why did he do that? Was it because of the money? No, it wasn't. Why would it be? If he wanted the money, he wouldn't have kissed him again. He would have kept on threatening him with police. 

But it wasn't because of the money. Why was it for? 

How much Jiseok overestimated him. He could tell himself that he was just an annoying kid who was no different from anyone else, but no—he had to want more. Like an idiot, he had to be captivated by his smile, his way of speaking and, above all, how differently the boy addressed him, unlike other people. It seemed to him that he didn't see him as a musician but as an ordinary boy whom he liked. 

And he was half right. 

He definitely didn't see a musician in him, but he had no idea about the second aspect. He couldn't reach it and he honestly didn't even try. He didn't want to think about it so much, let alone when his thoughts were racing and racing and his brain couldn't catch up with them. 

He knew it was game over to him, maybe not for now but by the time he will have to explain what happened between him and the boy. To who? Fucking police, interviewers, television and probably even his family. 

But what would he say? I didn't do that to him but— And once again game over to Jiseok because what do you mean you didn't do that but? But what?

He didn't do anything wrong.

Losing a career sounded like losing a part of his soul. 

He was on his way to confront him, it was his strong emotions that led his shaky yet confident body through the halls of school. He was ready to scold him for what he had done, he was mentally ready to shout at him even though yesterday he felt like protecting him at all costs. 

How idiotic of him to let someone this unsuspected shred his heart into pieces and ruin his future. It was so unforeseen to him that he felt an even bigger need to finally stand in front of him and ruin his day... but wait, he wouldn't ruin it since Jooyeon planned it from the day he had seen him. 

He clearly stated that it would be funny ruining Jiseok's life, so the talk with him wouldn't bear any fruit. 

But now that they had both locked their eyes it was too late to turn away. Jooyeon smiled and it was the same smile that Jiseok had received from him three days ago when they were walking around the forest close to the University—it made him shiver. Why was he pretending even now when Jiseok knew everything?