coming undone! | gayeon

chapter 14

Concerns, worries and fears were Jooyeon's favourite words from the moment he had given Jiseok a second chance. He had never had so much on his mind, he could hardly concentrate on anything else with the exam session approaching at a rapid pace.

Whether he was close to Jiseok or not, his mind was full of thoughts about practically everything connected to their relationship and mostly the way it was revolving.

He didn't find it bad that they were getting on even better than before; he liked it very much yet he was afraid. He was full of conflicting thoughts that it was getting out of control.

He needed someone to talk with and this someone was Hyeongjun whom he trusted with everything.

They met after classes at Jooyeon's house and the latter was here to tell him about Jiseok.

He needed to rant to someone. He wished he could let these words flow out of his mouth like that next to Jiseok but he had no idea what his reaction would be. After all, the statements were all about Jooyeon being scared of what would happen next in their relationship.

Jiseok definitely would be disturbed by these words.

"It's not like I don't like him."

"I know that." Junhan giggled, he knew how much he cared for him. He looked at Jooyeon, who found it hard to stay still in place; he was walking in small circles, crushing a plastic bottle of water in his hands. He stopped abruptly and let out a quiet sigh.

"I don't wanna end it at all."

He was worried because of what had happened previously. About two weeks after it all started. The dramatic end.

He became scared. Jiseok shouted at him and even though Jooyeon tried to explain himself, he seemed not to care.

Jooyeon tried to justify Jiseok to himself later that day and the next long days without him that it was because the information about them on the internet was so sudden and Jiseok's emotions towered over everything else in his body.

Despite everything, the words he said to him still rang in his head. It even happened that he played loud music on his headphones; he could still hear Jiseok's voice.

His words that he wished he had never met him.

Now he was sure that he didn't mean that at all. He even apologised for it multiple times and Jooyeon trusted him.

But everything was happening too fast. He felt idiotic saying it out loud, suddenly feeling as if he was saying some nonsense.

"It's just the pace that scares me the most," he blabbered, staring at Junhan who was sitting on his bed covered in blankets nodding constantly at Jooyeon. "You know, last time it fell apart after two weeks only." He shrugged his shoulders hoping that his friend would understand what was on his mind.

"And you are scared it would happen again, right?"

"No... I doubt it would but still..." he cursed under his breath. Saying it he felt as if he was accusing Jiseok of cheating or mistreating him-or whatever else, which was not what he meant. "What if. It's been almost a month."

"Jooyeon, I wouldn't worry about it that much at your place," Junhan spoke right from his heart. "Jiseok really likes you, nothing's gonna happen again."

He was sure of his words and he even thought that the incident and their quite long separation could bring them closer together for their feelings obviously persevered this time.

Jooyeon seemed to omit this fact while analysing everything completely. The only thing that was bothering him constantly was how quickly it was happening.