Blue Sunsets and Whiskey. - J.Birch

I'm Not Okay (I Promise).

I toss myself back onto the bed, Judd is standing by our closet putting away our clothing. He chuckled as he turns around. "You look comfortable."

I sit up and smile at him, "I am."

Connie is laying on the bed behind me now kicking her feet. "Oooo we're alone with himmmmm!" She screams before speaking again. "Baby you should get him a little worked up, see where it goessss!"

"That's actually not a bad idea." I chuckle a little before she disappears again. As she does I lift my head up and look at him, he's back in the closet putting away clothing again. I stand up and walk over to him before sitting on the floor beside the closet.

"Why do you always feel the need to sit on the floor when I'm not near you?" He asks and he looks down at me. "I like being close to you." I mutter, Judd smiles a little before he finally puts away the last thing and sits down beside me.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" I ask him, almost mocking him at the same time.

"I don't have to tell you why." Judd rolls his eyes at me before walking over to the window and opening it, he lights a smoke and blows it out the window. I stand up a little after and walk over to sit beside him. He hands me the smoke and I blow it out the window giving it back to him and lighting my own one.

"Can I ask you something?" I turn to look at him and he nods. "Why do you let me just follow you around? I feel like that gets annoying does it?" He shrugs.

"I like being around you. Only you actually, I can't deal with people." I nod, "So then why do you put up with me?"

"I don't know, I just like you- being around you-" He stutters over his words. "What was that?" I smile at him as I squeal. "Stop it Molly you're making me feel like a faggot."

"But that was so cuteee! You like meee?" I hug his arm and he chuckles a little.

"Maybe a little." I hug his arm tighter. "Realllllly??"

"Okay if you keep asking I'm gonna say no."

"Fineeee." He runs his fingers through my hair for a second before taking another hit of his smoke, I copy him.

"Can I ask you something else?" I turn to him, "Before you ask me on a date you need to know that I am not a good boyfriend." Rochelle appears beside him. "Whattt?!"

"I can't be what you need and I can't care for you as needed."

Her mouth falls open, it hits the floor. The rest of her body does as well before it melts through the floor. "I don't need you to, I can care for myself." I smile at him and he turns his head away.

"I can't be that for you Molly." I sigh as I nod. "Can we keep this then? What do we already have?"

"Mhm." Judd mutters and I rest my head on his shoulder again. "Thank you."

He nods again and puts his arm around me. "I'm sorry if I made you sad." He whispers.

"It's okay, it happens." He gives me a small smile before closing his eyes and finishing off his smoke, he throws it out the window before I hand him mine and he does the same. "It's just snow down there nothing will burn."

"Can I sleep?" I ask, I can feel my eyes swelling up, I had just started thinking about what he said. 'I can't be that for you.' But he can, he can be that for me.

"Hey hey, Molly." He puts his arms around me as I realised I had started crying. I felt the lump in my throw growing I couldn't speak. I wanted to talk to him but I couldn't.

"I-I'm sorry." I muttered, the anxiety mosquito was back in my ear. "He hates youuu! He thinks you're not good enou-!" Judd hits the mosquito away while pushing my hair behind my hair. I don't think he knows what he did.

"Are you okay?" He holds my face, cupping it in his hand. "Yeah I'm okay." I wipe my face with the back of my hand as I try and smile a little. I feel myself start crying again so I stop trying to smile.

"Molly.." He sighs, "I'm sorry." I nod at him.

"I know you are."

"I didn't want to make it weird I'm sorry." I look down at my hands again as I fidget with them. He puts his hands on mine.

"It's okay."