Selfless: Book Two (bxb) ✔️

Chapter Fifteen: It's Not Goodbye

Cade Windsor

"Cameron?"

Carter sat up as he seemed to figure out what was going on. "Is that Cameron?"

"Well, there goes that plan,"  Cameron mumbled groggily into the phone. "Cade, I needed to talk to both of you before you spiraled. I...Can you get Carter and put me on speaker?"

"Yeah." I nodded as I waved at Carter, trying to swallow back the onslaught of emotions in my chest. "One second." I put the phone to my shoulder. "Come with me. We'll be right back."

Carter was off the couch without a second thought and followed me outside. I didn't bother with a jacket, and even though I was going to be cold, I didn't care. Cameron called, and I didn't expect to hear from him. I couldn't even fathom that we were able to talk to him, and that part of me that couldn't climb back out was grabbing onto the ledge for dear life.

I put the phone on speaker, and Carter closed in, huddling close to me. "Cameron?"

"I'm here." Holy shit, I wasn't dreaming of this. But he was quiet on the other end, and Carter and I exchanged looks of worry. Until he spoke again. And when he did, I knew he was crying. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were going to show up. I never wanted to put you through that part. I really figured you would be sad, I did think of that, but I didn't expect you to show up. I'm really sorry."

I was shaking, and not because of the cold. "Please let us help you." My voice broke, and Carter was already crying at the broken sound of our brother's voice. "Please, Cameron. We will be here for you, I promise. Please."

"I'm not...I'm not going to do it again. Maybe that seems stupid to say, considering I only tried this morning, but after I heard about you two being in the lobby, trying to see me. I...can't. I can't do that to you."

"Don't only think of us, but of yourself, too. We want you to get better. We will do anything to help you feel better. Please."

He was crying even more, Carter was, too. But I wasn't. I couldn't. "I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't see a different way out, and I'm still struggling to see a way out. I don't want to deal with any of this anymore."

"Whatever it is, you can give it to us to carry so it's not too heavy."

"You weren't supposed to be there." He was breaking down, and I was starting to panic. "You were never supposed to see any of that. I'm so sorry."

Carter snatched the phone in all of his snot-nosed glory. "Listen to me, Cameron. It doesn't matter what we saw or didn't see. None of it matters. What matters is that you get better and you come home with us. We are going to have a fucking Christmas together like old times, and we are going to repair all this bullshit between us. Whatever you're going through, we will help you shoulder it, like Cade said. We've all fucked up in one way or another, and you know what? I'm tired of us being apart. We should be together, and helping one another. I wanted to have this conversation with you, minus Cade, but that doesn't matter anymore.

"You are going to get better, and we will be here to help you get there. I don't care if I have to shove Christmas cheer down your throat. I will do whatever it takes. Please do not do this again. I can't live in a world without you in it. If you need to hear that I forgive you, then I forgive you. I forgive you, Cameron. Please don't allow any of the weights holding you down to be that I haven't forgiven you. Because I already forgave you, but I had no idea how to approach it. So, please, stay. Stay with us. I will be selfish and ask you to stay. Please."

Cameron was still crying, and I took a breath as I hoped Carter didn't go too far, too soon. Carter had always been the triplet that said everything on his mind without sugarcoating it. Right now was no different. We'd never dealt with something like this before, so there were no instructions on how to handle it.