Blurred Lines

8. the aftermath

When we arrive at the precinct, Tara tells me to just head straight to my car and go home. "We'll meet you at your house, and we will grab your things for you," she says. "Thank you," I can't express how grateful I am to Tara and JJ right now. I get in my car and head home. I swear I pass the other bureau car on the main road, but I'm not sure.

I drive carefully, the road wet and slick from the snow. By the time I make it home, it's begun snowing softly. I leave my door unlocked as I text Tara and JJ to drive safely, then put on some music. I grab an already opened bottle of tequila, and drink straight from the bottle. I wince as I feel the alcohol in my throat. I strip the dress off of me, throwing it in the trash. As beautiful as it was, I do not care to ever wear it again. I put on my largest oversized t-shirt and a clean pair of underwear, throwing the old pair away as well.

I don't bother with shorts, knowing JJ and Tara wouldn't care. I drink some more, and start to feel slightly better. I decide that I want to make margaritas, so I head to my kitchen and grab the stuff, setting everything on the counter. I grab my blender, mentally apologizing to my neighbors that are sleeping. I get to work, singing along to my music.

I turn on "Coconut," by Harry Nilsson as I pour the margs into their glasses. "Oh HELL yes," Tara says as she comes in. "Midnight Margaritas!" JJ yells excitedly. They drop everything they hold and race to the kitchen. I dance to the song, handing them their drinks. We cheers, then take deep sips. "I love coming to your house," Tara sighs as she dances, "It's so much fun."

We drink our margaritas as fast as we can, JJ grabbing the tequila bottle from the counter and taking a sip from that as well. She offers it to Tara, and she accepts, JJ holding the bottle for her. We laugh giddily, happy as clams with our drinks. I refill our glasses, then we all troop to the living room, where we continue dancing as the song changes.

I collapse on the couch, needing a break. They sit on either side of me, passing the bottle around again. I drain the last few drops, and place it on the table. "We are going to need another one," I say. I stand, take a single step, and immediately stumble. I burst out laughing, and so do Tara and JJ. I slowly take another step, steadier this time. "Okay, I'm good," I tell them. I head off into the kitchen and find a new bottle. I open it, and take a few sips before heading back out to them.

I hear them talking, so I pause to hear what they are saying. "She doesn't want to see you," Tara says aggressively. "Please, I just need to talk to her," a new voice, Emily's, pleads. Oh fuck. "She's not available right now," JJ stands her ground. I take another sip from the bottle. "It's fine, guys," I say, coming into the living room. Emily is in the doorway, Tara blocking her from coming in. JJ is right behind her, staring at Emily over Tara's shoulder.

"Back off, girls," I tell them. "Are you sure?" JJ asks. "Yes, now take this bottle before I drop it," I push it at JJ. She grins at me and grabs Tara. They sit back on the couch, passing it back and forth between them. "Hey," Emily says softly. "Hi," I respond. "I can come back, if now's not a good time," she says hesitantly. "It's fine, you're here now, and I'm definitely drunk enough for this so come on in I guess," I open the door wider.

"Actually, can I talk to you out here?" Her eyes flick over to the women sitting on my couch. "Sure, why not?" I shrug. I head into the hallway with her. "I'm sorry for everything that happened tonight," Emily starts. I cut her off. "It was for the case, whatever," I shrug again. "Yeah, I guess," she softly says. "What's that supposed to mean?" I question. "Nothing, it doesn't matter," she dismisses.

I point a finger at her accusingly. "You were the one who talked me into it," I start to slur my words, "I didn't want to have anything to do with it." She nods, "I know, I was selfish and I let my emotions get the better of me on this case. It won't happen again." She turns to leave. "Wait, where are you going?" I call after her. "I'm going home, Y/n," she turns back around to look at me.