Glimpse of Yesterday

Chapter 41

Chapter 41

It hurts. Stepping away from the man you love was viciously painful. It was as if every step from the sand lashing a cascading drop of memory I had with him was telling me to come back and fix everything once again.

I wanted so bad to shout at him. I wanted so bad to hurt him for doing such thing but I’m too drained.

I sobbed hard the moment I felt his hug from behind.

“Let go.” My voice cracked.

“I need you. I want to be selfish because I need you. Please don’t leave me. . .” He begged as his voice cracked in pain.

With my remaining strength, I removed his hands off me. Uttering another word was tormenting for me. I wanted to ask him why he did such thing but because I'm a coward when it comes to him, I chose silence.

I’m afraid I might break down the moment I listen to his answer.

It was obvious.

I’m not a woman who can satisfy him.

I’m not the woman who he needs when he’s having a break down.

Because I am the woman who needs him more more than he needs me.

“I know I was unselfish back then but the moment you embraced me after telling what I’ve been through, I know I needed you. Please don’t. Please don’t leave me.” His hug tightened.

You were there whenever I needed you but I’m afraid I cannot be with you the moment you need me.

I’m too broken. I felt like one last string of loving you, my hands will completely lashed out from the rope I’ve been holding on this past years.

Hope.

And I fear of being in the darkness again.

“I don’t love you anymore.” That’s all I can say without cracking up.

“No. You’re lying.”

I shook my head.

“I’m tired of loving you.”

And that’s when. . .

He let go of me.

Biting my lower lip as tight as I could to stifle my sobs, I stepped away from the man who my heart has ever wanted to love even with its shattered pieces.

Alone in my room. I cried hard. All night until my body gave up along with my eyes that dozed off.

“Are you sure you want to stay here? Are you really okay?” Mom asked, worried, the next morning.

“Mmm. Go.” My voice was husky due to crying all night.

She sighed.

“Okay. I’ll give you your time alone.” She gave me her feigned smile.

Andra went to me and hugged me tight before letting me go. And back again, I stayed in my room, did nothing but to stare at nothingness until the next day came.

“A-Are you okay?” Aiden suddenly appeared beside me, worried.

I was shock at his appearance. It has been a month since they left and I thought he left with them but it looks like he’s still here.

He sat beside me on the swimming pool area, and looked at the sunless and cloudless sky.

“What are you doing here?” I asked and played with my feet under the water.

“I feel guilty.” He said.

I looked at him but he’s looking at the sky.

He sighed.