Glimpse of Yesterday

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

“What? When? Why? What happened?”

My heart was thumping as loud and fast as it could with the abrupt news that for a moment, it made me immobile.

“Yesterday. . . she died out of heart attack.” Her voice was drained.

“Where’s she?”

“Your. . . your mom said that. . .” she avoided my gaze. “She’s the one who’ll handle her funeral.”

I hugged her again but she didn’t cry. It feels like she’s already tired and drained of crying.

She hugged me back.

“I’m really ashamed. Mom was too. I know mom was really ashamed by the fact that she needs the help of the woman whom she betrayed. Karma like you said. Is this how bad karma can be?”

I sighed and didn’t respond.

“Before she died. . . before she left. I shouted at her. And I. . . I regretted it so much. I shouldn’t have shouted. I shouldn’t have let her leave the place.”

“Why? Where did she go?”

She hugged me tight.

“I-I scolded her. I-I told her to leave dad alone because she kept on visiting him. I scolded her for loving such a monstrous person. I scolded her for being such a fool.”

I gulped the sudden lump in my throat.

“But she loved him so much. . . she loved him. She was so blinded by love that even a sin was not a hindrance for her! That even the guilt she’s been living all this years didn’t stop her! But he! He’s such a monster! He’s a merciless person! He has no conscience!” She fumed and cried.

Love. . .

How far can love go?

Is it even called love?

Or is it a fear mistaken by love?

“She told me that she has this kind of fear I had also felt when I was living with your father. It was toxic. Your father and I had a toxic relationship back then.” It was mom who sat beside me.

I didn’t respond. I continued watching my sobbing sister in front of mom’s grave. It has been a week since she died but the pain still lingers from my sister’s heart and I hate to see her suffer.

I wanted to console her but I couldn’t because I know no words can make her happy, no words can fill that empty gap in her heart, no words can feel the pain of losing a mother whom she felt loved. . . even just a little.

So I just stayed far from her, with leaves of tree above me and tree trunk against my back, I was motionless while staring at my sister, sobbing all she could, talking to her mom, saying all the things she failed to say when she was alive.

“Just like her mom, I feared of being left alone so I ended up staying in our toxic relationship. Her mom. . . I know her mom felt ashamed that if she leave him, she’ll end up being pitiful, people will end up pointing their fingers at her because of her sin. Saying it was her great karma.”