quick pronoun reminder:
Leo: he/him
Fern: she/her
Blaze: he/him
Tyle: he/him
Tisser: he/they
Super: she/they
Nova: she/her
Ame: any
Comet: she/him
Matha: he/him
Reina: she/her
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Tyle: *watching the squad's shenanigans with concern* Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand?
Blaze: I don't know. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.
Leo: Fern and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.
Blaze: What did you do?
Leo: She chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-
Fern: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?
Reina: If I were a drink, I'd be Cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink, what would you be?
Tisser: Bleach.
Matha: Sewage.
Reina: ...Please calm down, edgelords.
Matha: Want to hear a hard riddle?
Reina: Sure.
Matha: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?
Reina: ...down?
Matha: N-
Tisser: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.
Matha:
Matha: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... Jesus Christ...
Blaze: I am the most responsible person in the group.
Tyle: …You just set the kitchen on fire.
Blaze: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.
Reina: A mouse!
Super, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.
Tisser, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!
Ame, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.
Comet, gasping: It's Ratatouille!
Nova: His name is Remi, dummy.
Reina: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people...
Ame: Leo told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.
Matha: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Tisser: If you say "addict-ionary" I swear I will cut you.
Matha: I was actually going to say "high definition", but your answer's much better.
Tisser: ...
Leo: Then either Sonic is a god or could kill god, and I do not care if there is a difference.
Matha: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.
Fern: A butterfly! Hey, little guy, gal or nonbinary pal!
Tyle: Can a butterfly be nonbinary?
Fern: I mean, maybe? I don't judge.
Reina, staring dreamily out of the window: Ah, have you ever imagine having butterfly wings? Then-
Matha: Then it would be inconvenient as fuck. Your wings would smack every doorframe and your clothes would have to have holes in the back.
Tisser: Also, your wing's paper thin, so even a six year old aimed a NERF gun at it would... Yeah...
Blaze: *sips coffee* According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a-
Reina: No, nononono. You guys have already shattered my dream, you don't get the fucking privilege to make that reference!
Tyle: Also, it's about a butterfly, not a bee... Why would you make that reference?
Fern: You clearly have not lived with him long enough.
Fern: We’re going to have to split up, like in Scooby Doo.
Fern, to Blaze and Tyle: You guys are Scooby and Shaggy. You can search the bathrooms.
Fern, to Matha: Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge in the basement.
Matha: What? Why am I Velma? And why do I get the… dubious looking device?
Fern: Because only Velma would say “dubious device”. Matha gets the spooky fridge in the basement.
Leo: And what does that make you, Fred?
Fern: Bitch, I’m Daphne.
Leo: So, what's for dinner?
Fern, staring at the food she burnt: Regret.
Fern: If we lose, you’re out of the will.
Blaze: I was in the will?
Super: Everyone synchronise your watches.
Nova: I don't know how to do that.
Ame: I don't wear a watch.
Comet: Time is a construct.
*The Squad's cooking skills*
Nova: *master chef*
Matha: *knows a few recipes*
Super: *can follow instructions on a box*
Reina: *made toast once*
Tisser: *banned from the kitchen*
Tyle: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.
Blaze, stirring their coffee: I prefer it with salt.
Tisser: I'm yet to properly begin my history notes BUT!!!! I got 100% on a quiz about european countries so who's the REAL winner here.
Ame: Oh, they left the bowl out?
Ame: It says, “Take two pieces of candy.”
Comet: Nobody around though…
*Comet grabs the entire bowl and runs off with it*
Ame: NO-
Super: Here comes the lightning!
Super, whispering: You've got to imagine it coming out my fingertips, wherein I am an almighty wizard.
Nova: Ok, currently imagining that. Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all.
Matha: Do you always have to attack me with your words?
Tisser: Would you prefer me to use a brick?
Reina: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything Matha does? I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?!
Tisser: If Matha were to jump off a cliff, he would've done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Matha jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Leo: You jump off a cliff!
Tisser: Gladly, provided Matha did first.
Reina: Ah ready for another fantastic day of being better than Matha.
*Bullying Prevention Day at school*
Teacher: Leo, what would you do if one of your classmates viciously teased you again and again?
Leo: Oh, that’s easy. I’d take a marker out of my pencil case—
Teacher: To write something to your teacher?
Leo: —and ram it into their eye at full tilt! My dad always says the marker is mightier than the sword because they can’t outlaw bringing markers to school!
Teacher: *internal screaming*
Super: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.
Matha: We should normalize not loving family members.
Tisser: You can just say: “I hate my sister” or whatever. Talk like a normal person!
Fern: Let me copy your homework.
Blaze: I was gonna copy yours.
Fern: Well, shit.
Blaze: Guess I'm not doing it.
Reina: Are you reading fan fiction?
Matha, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No.
Reina: Oh, is it on AO3?
Matha: This is CNN.
Leo: Why are Blaze and Tyle sitting with their backs to each other?
Fern: They had a fight.
Leo: Then why are they holding hands?
Fern: They get sad when they fight.
Reina: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!
Matha: Reina, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.
Reina: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!
Tisser: ...It was a bug.
Reina: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!
Matha: ...
Tisser: ...
Reina: Stop looking at me like that!
Matha: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck!
Super: it’s illegal to look better than me.
Matha: I guess we’re all going to jail then.
Matha: Did you buy eggs like I asked?
Leo: Even better!
Matha: What the fuck did you-
Leo: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.
YOU ARE READING
Ten Words of Crackbooks
Humorten words of wisdom crackbook to get the wiggles out (hyperfixations go brrrrr sometimes) anyways expect a bunch of books being idiots, tantusar being the tired dad of everyone, and alexlion0511 being literally everywhere because i am way too biased...
