Forevermore - Lovertation

Venting

Lover
A few long moments later and we were both dressed; I was wearing a colourful jumper and denim shorts, rep in a black knitted jumper and shorts. I grabbed her hand and led her down the stairs to the kitchen, where we were met with a delicious buttery smell coming from the kitchen.

"Morning!" I said cheerily. After a quick look around, I saw Folklore and Evermore in a deep conversation about climate change, Red flipping fluffy pancakes on the stovetop while casually chatting to Speak Now, and then swearing as a pancake fell on the floor. I went and sat down next to Midnights who was perched on a barstool with 1989 on her lap. They had only started dating a couple of days ago and were perfect for each other.

I grabbed a plate with a few pancakes on it and started to drizzle maple syrup over them. "Where're Fearless and Debut?" I asked, my mouth full of pancake.

"They went on a horse ride, you know those two" 1989 replied, an apple in one of her hands and Midnights' hand in the other. I nodded knowingly and looked at Rep. She was leaning on the countertop, hands on her chin.

"You alright baby?" I asked, instantly concerned.

Rep picked up the worry in my voice and smiled at me reassuringly. "Don't worry, I'm just waking up".

I put her hand in mine and began to draw circles on my palm with my thumb. She closed her eyes and smiled, which made me happy.

"Bit happy there, Rep?" Midnights said teasingly.

I knew Rep had a soft side hidden away for those she loved and trusted, but for everyone else, it was a different story.

"Shut up" Rep growled, her calm and loving demeanour hidden away again.

Midnights held up her hands in mock defeat and smirked. It annoyed me when the others did that, winding up Rep for no reason. I wasn't sure how much it bothered her, but I knew she didn't like it. Her past had left with the impression that she needed to be tough around everyone, so there was always a smirk or cruel joke playing at her lips when in public. I knew this side of her, of course, but I also knew the soft, open personality she had around me. It saddened me that she wouldn't show this side of her more often, but I didn't mind and was happy to just play along. I kept her hand in mine, her reassuring warmth always helped to soothe my strong emotions.

Not long ago, I would get massive panic attacks born from anxiety, they impacted my life greatly, and I wasn't sure what to do about them.

Dating Rep had 100% helped with this since she'd dealt with similar situations in the past. She always knew what I needed and was always there to hold me and whisper sweet nothings in my ears when I needed it most.

Once nearly all the pancakes were gone, Fearless and Debut walked in the front door, they were both wearing riding pants and tops with helmets in their hands.

"Good morning!" I welcomed them as they took off their boots and walked inside.

Debut raised her eyebrow at 1989 and Midnights, who were still sitting together. As she walked in, Midnights flipped her off. I frowned, sometimes I wished everyone would just get along. But it wasn't a realistic wish, everyone was different. Rep noticed my shift in mood.

"Why don't we go out?" She offered and I instantly perked up. Rep knew me all too well; she knew fresh air would always make me feel better. I brought my dirty plate and cutlery over to the dishwasher and loaded them before walking over to the coat rack to get my scarf.

It wasn't that cold of a day, but a chilly wind blew in through the kitchen window and I didn't want to be cold. I pulled on my short brown leather boots and grabbed an over-the-shoulder bag to bring.

Soon Rep came down the stairs with her black ankle boots on and a black bag to match the rest of her outfit.

"Are you going to wear a scarf? I don't want you to get cold" I asked once she was standing next to me.

"I'll be fine" she replied, and I shook my head slightly and chuckled to myself. I knew she would get cold so when she wasn't looking, I grabbed her scarf and tossed it into my bag, before walking out the front door into the chilly outdoors.

I closed the door behind us and started down the path. There was a small park near our house, so I started to walk in that direction, Rep's hand in mine. The wind whistled through the trees on the side of the road, biting at my bare skin. I felt Rep press herself against me and I knew she was cold, so I pulled her scarf out of my bag, held it up and looked at her with one eyebrow raised and a knowing smile on my face. Rep took the scarf and mock-scowled, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. I put my arm around her waist and pulled her into me.

Once we arrived at the park we began to walk along a pathway, it was our usual route for a reason. It was a gorgeous autumn day, and the maple trees were littering gorgeous orange leaves along the ground.

"What a stunning day!" I announced, breaking the peaceful silence. Rep just nodded and kept looking down slightly, which concerned me. I couldn't help it, I was constantly trying to make all the others happy, especially Rep. It had turned me into a bit of an overly cautious person, which annoyed people sometimes.

"What's on your mind baby?" I asked, "You're not usually this quiet".

After a few moments, Rep sighed and looked up at me.

"Am I good enough for you? I just, sometimes I think-" her voice started to stammer slightly. I was taken aback by this comment, my eyes widening with shock.

"What? Of course, you are!" I cried out "Why are you thinking like this? Who put that idea in your head?" Rep dropped her head back down and we stopped walking.

"I dunno, I've been getting these thoughts recently and I don't normally let them in, but they've been getting to me recently. I mean, you're just so perfect and beautiful and I've started to compare myself to others a little bit..." her face started to go  and I could tell she was holding in tears.

I smiled knowingly and replied "Reputation, look at me" She tilted her head toward me again and I smiled. "You are the most gorgeous, courageous, brave person I know. I need you to remember this whenever you aren't feeling good, ok?" I pulled her into a tight hug and let her nestle her head into my neck and wrap her arms around me. It didn't take long for silent tears to slowly moisten the material on my shoulder and as soon as I felt them, I squeezed her tighter.

"It builds up on me, I'm normally fine with being tough and closed off around everyone else, I guess I just think I have to be like this all the time I'm so sorry!" I heard her say between sobs.

"Hey, don't apologise" I soothed softly, quietly shushing her sobs and rocking her slightly with my arms.

"I'm here for you, just as you were for me". We stood on the pathway for what seemed like hours, in each other's arms. Once Rep's tears had dried up, she pulled away slightly so she could see my face.

"I'm sorry, you don't deserve this", I said quietly "I'm going to help you, but you need to tell me how you feel so you don't break down like this when you bottle things up! Even though I know it's hard for you".

"I'll try, I promise" Rep replied slowly. I smiled and took her hand and kissed it softly which made her smile, causing me to smile back at her.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, I love you". Rep said, her cheeks rosy and warm.

Her words made my heart flutter, and I squeezed her hand in response.

"I love you so much. Shall we go back? Watch a movie?" I asked her, changing the subject. It was hard for me to see her like this, and it made my stomach churn. Rep was my only and I made it my purpose to make sure she was ok. Nothing else mattered.

"Yeah, alright" Rep replied, her face starting to become less blotchy.

"Great, let's go back" I announced, starting to walk in the direction of the path. Reputation followed me, still hand in hand.

AN: Phew, this is a long one! Let me know if you want shorter chapters I don't mind doing whatever. Love ya'll!