enemy to doctor - the hating game

12 - panic attacks and injections

I try to calm my breathing but it's only getting worse. My lungs feel like they're being pushed together and oxygen is scarce. I try to lift my body but the sharp pain in my stomach sends me straight back down. Tears start to blur my sight and sobs escape my throat. I can hear the blood in my ears roaring and the speed of the beeping sounds of the EKG increase with every second.
I look to my sides, desperate to find something that helps me but obviously fail. Panic spreads through me and I start feeling lightheaded from the missing air.
All of the sudden the EKG starts an alarmingly loud sound and only 10 seconds later Josh runs back into the room.

"Patrick!"
He shouts for his brother and is next to me in the next second.

"Hey, hey Luce, Luce! Calm down you have to try to steady your breathing."

He is leaning over me, one hand on my cheek beging me to control myself. But I can't. There's just not enough air and the sobs won't stop.
Like from far away I hear steps coming closer and then Patrick steps into sight.

"What-"

"Panic attack. Oxygen, quickly."

Josh remains next to me, trying to calm me and my breathing down while Patrick goes out of sight.

"Give her this. Inner thigh, now!"

I see Pat handing a syringe to Josh who immediately pulls my blanket off and my pants down.
In the meantime Patrick presses a mask on my nose and mouth, leading oxygen into my lungs.
A cry escapes me when I feel the needle in the soft sensitive flesh on the inside of my thigh and my eyes roll backwards.

"This should calm you down any second. Breathe, focus on inhaling and close your eyes. Breathe in."

And suddenly I feel a normal amount of air entering my body again.
We remain like that. Josh next to me after having removed the injection, my pants still down, a mask pressed onto my face.
A few minutes pass, Josh's hand stroking over my thigh while Pat pushes the mask onto my face.

"I would like to give you more time but listen Lucy, i think a few more wounds opened. We need to stitch. Soon."

I open my eyes and set a mask onto my face. "Okay. I'll manage. Just- do it."

Patrick releases a long breathe and I watch both putting on masks and gloves.
They look like surgeons.

"Josh, I will place the injections. You'll assist me in sucking the blood off and taking care of her. Okay?"

"Yes. You got enough numbing stuff?"

"Yes, I do. All she'll feel are the injections."

He turns his head towards me.

"You gotta be strong now alright? This won't be fun. You think you can manage without the oxygen again?"

I hesitate. Then give him a little nod.
Josh takes the mask of my face then seems to hesitate and finally pulls his mask down to place a kiss on my forehead.

"You got this."

Then they take of my bandaging around the stomach.
Josh holds a strange looking device in his hand. A little like a tube which realize then is there to suck the blood off.
Patrick is holding a syringe in his hand and directs his attention to my skin. Josh puts one hand onto my upper chest, ready to apply pressure and hold me down.

"Alright here we go. Take a big deep breath in."

I comply.

"And out."

The syringe stings through my bruised skin and remains there for a few seconds. Then he pulls it out and without any warning he pushes it in at a different point. I wince and tense.