enemy to doctor - the hating game

34 - follow up examination

We end up watching the first entire season of a new Netflix show.
I manage to stay awake through most of it but fall asleep after the 5th episode. When I wake up, Josh refreshes my pain management supply and checks my vitals.

"They are mostly alright. It's normal that after a surgery they aren't exactly where they're supposed to be."

And then we continue to watch until the 9th and last episode. The whole situation gives me a sense of normality and the fact that Josh gets a huge bowl of popcorn and some ice cream is purely amazing. I run a finger over one of the veins on the back of his hand that he has rested on my upper stomach. I'm laying in between his legs, my back flushed against his torso. My head is rested on that little soft part between chest and shoulder while my left hand rests upon his left thigh.
It's around 6 pm and Patrick should be coming back from his shift any time. That means another examination. I force the dread back down before it has a chance to even rise and continue following the veins on Josh's hand with my finger.
A few minutes later his phone rings.

"Hey Pat. Yeah, we're upstairs." I turn sideways to get a look at his concentrated face.
"Okay. We'll be down in five." He hangs up.

"Sorry beautiful but we got to go."

I groan and turn back, then scoot down further. A hand strokes over my head and starts to gently massage my scalp. I enjoy the moment and we fall into silence.

"I don't want to go." I admit.

"I know Luce. It should be fine though. Just a general check up, maybe an ultrasound. We don't need to draw any blood, just in two days again."

I sigh and nod, then sit up with the help of Josh. He detaches the IV bag and tube.
Josh carefully helps me into the wheelchair, his touch reassuring. As we make our way downstairs to the examination room, my nerves intensify. The sterile, well-lit environment triggers a sense of vulnerability. Josh, sensing my unease, places a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Lucy, you're doing great. Just a routine check-up, and Patrick will make sure everything's on track. You've been strong through all of this," Josh reassures me, his eyes reflecting genuine care.

Patrick greets us with a warm smile as we enter the examination room. Still in the wheelchair, I glance around nervously.

"Hey, Lucy, good to see you. How's everything feeling?" Patrick asks, guiding me towards the examination table.

I manage a small smile, "It's okay, just a bit anxious."

Patrick nods understandingly, "Completely normal. Let's start with a general check-up, and then we'll move on to the ultrasound. Josh, if you could help Lucy onto the table?"

Josh assists me onto the examination table, making sure I'm settled. Patrick begins the general examination, checking my vital signs and gently probing for any signs of discomfort.

"Lucy, any specific areas of pain or discomfort since we last saw you?" Patrick inquires, maintaining a reassuring tone.

I point to my lower abdomen, "There's a bit of tenderness here, especially when I move."

"Okay. Please lay back so I can take a closer look at that."

With a gentle, professional demeanor, he starts inspecting the scars from the surgery. It's an uncomfortable process, my vulnerability laid bare as he examines the three new scars on my abdomen.

He runs his fingers over the healed incisions, probing carefully. "Any pain or unusual sensations around these scars, Lucy?"

I wince a little, the touch more sensitive than I anticipated. "A bit of pain."

Patrick nods, noting my response. "That's not uncommon at this stage. We'll keep a close eye on it. There's a possibility of scar tissue developing around these scars, which, in some cases, might cause discomfort or other issues. I want you to let me know if you notice any changes or increased pain."

I nod, trying to push away the discomfort of the examination, trusting Patrick's expertise. "Sure, I'll keep an eye on it."

Moving on, Patrick asks me to open my mouth as he inspects my throat. The cool metal of the tongue depressor triggers a reflex to gag, but I manage to suppress it. He checks my eyes, shining a light into each, and then takes my vitals, the rhythmic beeping of the monitor providing a steady background.

"Your throat looks good, no signs of infection or inflammation. Eyes seem responsive, and your vitals are stable," Patrick reassures me.

"Alright, Lucy, we're going to check on the healing progress. Josh, if you could hand me that gel over there," Patrick says, motioning toward a small container.

Josh retrieves the gel and hands it to Patrick, who then applies a generous amount to the ultrasound probe. The cool gel sends a shiver down my spine as he begins to move the probe over my abdomen.

"You might feel a bit of pressure as we go through this," Patrick explains, his movements careful and measured.

I nod, bracing myself for the sensations that follow. As the images start to appear on the screen, Josh watches intently, his hand offering a comforting squeeze on my shoulder.

"See that, Josh?" Patrick points at the monitor. "That's the ovary, looking much better than before. The healing process is coming along nicely."

Josh leans in a bit closer, his eyes focused on the screen. "That's amazing," he murmurs, a mixture of relief and fascination in his voice.

As the ultrasound concludes, Patrick offers a smile. "Everything looks promising, Lucy. Healing well, and I'm not seeing any concerning signs."

After finishing up, Patrick glances at the medical chart, then looks up at me with a concerned expression. "Have you received your daily injections today?"

My heart skips a beat, and a wave of anxiety washes over me. I glance at Josh, my eyes silently pleading for reassurance.

Josh steps in, "Pat, it's been a bit complicated. The incidents of the last few days have left their marks. We're working on it."

Patrick nods understandingly. "I see. Lucy, you know that it's crucial that you get those for proper recovery. We can't compromise on that. Is there a specific reason for the fear?"

I take a deep breath, my voice shaky. "I... it's just really scary, especially after the incident with-." My mind goes blank. "Just everything."

Josh adds, "I found an ointment that helps numb the upper layer of the skin, but since the injections are intramuscular, it doesn't provide much relief."

Patrick considers the situation. "I could administer the injections if it makes Lucy more comfortable."

I weigh the options, and though Patrick's offer is tempting, I manage to speak up, "I... I'd be fine with Josh. We've been managing, and he's been really careful."

Josh squeezes my hand reassuringly, and Patrick respects my decision. "Alright, just ensure you're using the numbing ointment, and we'll continue monitoring your progress closely. Don't hesitate to reach out if the fear becomes overwhelming, Lucy. I wish we could do it differently but I don't know of any other option for that."

As Patrick leaves the room, Josh turns to me, "We'll take this one step at a time, Shortcake. I'll be as gentle as possible, and we'll get through it together, okay?"

"Yeah, let's do this." My words sound a lot more motivated than my voice but Josh smiles proudly and kisses my forehead.

"Let's get back upstairs and decide on what we're going to have for dinner."

I'm being lifted into the wheelchair again and enjoy exiting the exam room.
Especially with Josh by my side.