enemy to doctor - the hating game

29 - post-surgery

It's not like in the movies. The scene where their loved one is sitting next to them, holding their hand. And all of the sudden a finger flinches and the grip tightens and then their eyes slowly open and their loved one hugs them tightly while both cry from happiness, saying that the surgery went well and all is going to be okay now-
Fucking bullshit.
I wake up in fucking agony.
I want to move or open my eyes but I'm left paralyzed by the utter pain flooding through my veins. My head is pounding meticulously, my stomach is hurting from the skin to the deepest inside and my throat is absolutely killing me.
I feel like somebody just ran me over with a tractor.
I try to open my eyes but fire explodes behind my eyelids and leaves me groaning after quickly closing them again.
My.
Eyes.
The pain takes my breath away.

"Lucy, are you awake?"

Automatically I try to open my eyes again to look into the direction the familiar voice just came from but this time the groan that is being fueled by the pain in my eyes and head just increases and fades into a low cry.
God can somebody knock me out again please?
A hand is being laid on my cheek but this time I know better than opening my eyes.
The feeling of his skin and the motion in which he strokes his thumb over my skin tells him away anyways.

"Don't move shortcake. Hold on for just a second, I'll give you something for the pain."

I relax a little at his words and try to push out the pain to clear my mind-
But it doesn't work.
I barely even feel the drug being administered into my vein and just pray for time to pass faster.
After a few minutes of concentrating on the hand that is rubbing slow circles on my arm and hand, I manage to rasp a few words.

"My eyes. And throat."

The last two words are barely audible but I need him to know. I need him to just put me back to sleep or give me something stronger.

"I know sweetheart, I know." His hand strokes a few strands of hair out of my face.

"I have some eyedrops and I'll call Pat to give you a local anesthesia for the throat."

I still don't manage to open my eyes but the second I feel him pulling away to get up I put all of my strength into holding onto him.
He can't leave me alone right now. He just can't.

"I'll be back in a few seconds. Let me get you the eye drops, they're in a drawer on the other side of your bed. Don't open your eyes."

I don't loosen the grip. Not like it was extremely strong or something, he doesn't even have to put an ounce of effort into freeing himself from my sad little grip.
I hear him walking around the bed and opening a drawer to my far right then he sits down to my right and I hear the sound of plastic being ripped.

"Sometimes during surgery your eyes can open slightly and dry out. The anesthesia surpresses the urge to blink and therefore you don't develop tears." One of his hands finds its way onto the side of my face from where he slightly angles my head to the right and into his direction. "These are some artificial tears with a small dose of sedatives to make the pain stop faster. Just stay calm and relax. This might burn a little bit."

With one finger he pulls my eye slightly open and before I can't protest from the pain, he administers the drop then repeats the same thing on my other eye. I wince in pain and automatically reach for my eyes to rub them, but Josh stops me.

"Shhh, you're all done. The surgery was successful." He caresses my hands, arms and cheeks. "I'd give you some water but Patrick is coming to numb you up so you can only drink after that is done."

Numb.
Sedatives.
Injections.
Needles.

Nausea surges through me so sudden that I don't have time to think and only manage to lean over the right side of my bed before everything comes out. I automatically open my eyes and realize that the pain has subsided to a minimum.
But my throat feels like razor blades are cutting it open from the inside. After a few heaves Josh manages to get a container under my face and I throw up everything that I have into the bag. His arm slings around me in a way that lets me collapse all of my weight onto him. I retch until I'm a crying mess.