enemy to doctor - the hating game

20 - butterflies

Stress rolls off me and once again I can feel the mental impact that these past three days have taken on me.
One would think that so many procedures would have me grow accustomed to it, to the pain and the constant finding of new problems.
But honestly, it just keeps getting worse and worse.
I've lost all sense of time. All the things and revelations of the past few days, paired with the rapid development between Josh and I-
I feel like this has been going on forever and my average, normal life feels so far away...

A hand is being placed onto my forehead. I know that is Josh, his thumb stroking a lost strand of hair out of my face and probably checking my temperature.

"Lucy? Are you up?"

Josh' voice silences my thoughts immediately.
I let out a grunt, signalizing him that I am up but am sure as hell not going to react in any other way.

"Please open your eyes, love."

Okay maybe yes.
It takes me more effort than expected to open my eyes and I have to blink a few times in order to shield myself from the bright lights above me.

"That's it, you're doing so great Luce."

I don't manage more than a weak smile that probably looks more like a grimace but that's all I can manage at the moment.

"If you feel dizzy or tired, that's from the injection. I'll take you upstairs for a bit. Get you cleaned up from the blood and the past days, okay?"

That's sounds more than okay to me. Finally being able to wash the blood off myself and just overall cleaning up again sounds like a dream right now.
Nevertheless, I only manage a nod.

"Before that, Pat will give you a further injection in your back."

My heart stops for a second and my eyes widen.

"But you won't feel a thing except for some pressure. The area is still numbed pretty well but not for much longer. He needs some hours to prepare for the procedure and you do too so he will inject a slightly different sedative that will last longer."

As realization hits I slowly nod.

"Should I turn over?"

Josh' face changes and for a second something like admiration shines through his features.
As he is about to answer Patrick cuts into the conversation.

"No. Sit please and slightly bend to the front. Josh will hold you."

Just seconds later Josh takes my hand to remove the pulse measurer, then turns his attention to the IV in my arm and carefully detaches the tube. Then he detaches the EKG.
I don't take my eyes off him for a bare second.
His facial expressions are tense and he constantly furrows his eyebrows, his lips pressed into a thin line.
His hands though move with pure gentleness and cautious not to hurt me in any kind of way.
As he detaches the last sticker from my ribcage he speaks again.

"Why are you staring, Shortcake?"

Oops.

"No reason. I just like watching you."

Absolute honesty.

His eyes move to mine and the intensity that they meet me with has my heart rate doubling.
I'm happy that he already detached the pulse measurer.

"Okay, let's sit you up. I'm going to lift you and then turn you to the side, alright?"

"Yes, go ahead."

Our eyes meet again as he slowly pushes an arm under my back and positions the other one around my shoulders. Then he slowly lifts me and turns me to the side.