The Moonlight Lilac

59 - The One With The Loan Payment

Author's note: This version of the story is UNEDITED. Apologies for the incorrect grammar, spelling, and other writing flaws. I will fix this at a later time.

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains brutal violence that may not be suitable for all readers. Please read at your own discretion.

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Chapter 59 - The One With The Loan Payment

-Skylar's Point Of View-

Last night, I had a dream. No, not a dream, more like a nightmare.

Naglalakad daw ako sa pagkahaba habang tulay sa gitna ng dilim. It was a dark, lonely, bridge, with wreckage of disaster. I was covered in blood, sweat, and dirt, running while hopelessly searching. I was screaming her name on top of my lungs...I was searching for her.

Pero walang sumasagot sa panaginip ko. I woke up sobbing. That wasn't the first time that I dreamt of losing her. Hindi rin iyon ang unang pagkakataon na nagising akong umiiyak, sobrang bigat sa dibdib.

Just the thought of not seeing her again breaks my heart, it ruins my sanity. How much more if that happens in real life?

Inangat ko ang kanang kamay ko para abutin yung hibla ng buhok niya na nakaharang sa payapa niyang mukha. Marahan kong hinawi at iniayos iyon. Hindi ko napigilang ngumiti, kahit sa kabila ng ngiti na iyon ay naroon parin yung hindi ko mapaliwanag na kirot.

But still, seeing her peacefully sleep beside me is the only amount of assurance I need for me to go on with my day, enough reason for me to smile despite everything. That already fills the heavy space inside my heart. That's all I need...her. All I need is to see her safe and breathing.

Nang maayos ko yung hibla ng buhok niya ay marahan ko namang hinaplos ang makinis niyang pisnge na ngayon ay namumula dahil sa lamig.

Hindi ko napigilang mapakagat sa ilalim ng labi ko para pigilan ang sarili kong muling humagulgol. Ayokong gumawa ng kahit anong tunog na gigising sa kanya. Ayoko ng umiyak sa harapan niya, pero ito ako ngayon, lumuluha na naman.

Putangina! Putangina ang sakit sakit parin!

My Cythera...my sweet, beautiful, Cythera. Just like that one line on your favorite song, this world is never meant for one as beautiful as you. This cruel world and the cruel people in it will never deserve your pure, forgiving, heart.

Matapos nung naging komprontasyon namin sa lilac garden kagabi, matapos niyang sabihin sakin lahat lahat. She could've chosen to keep some of those secrets knowing how crucial those are, but no, she didn't. She told me every single thing, she showed me her full heart. She allowed herself to be fully vulnerable in front of me last night.

Nung una, hindi ko alam kung ano ba dapat kong maramdaman. Iba't ibang klaseng emosyon ang nangibabaw sa puso ko. Andun yung takot, yung grabeng lungkot, yung pagsisisi, yung hindi maipaliwanag na sakit. Matapos niyang ikwento lahat, hindi ako agad nakapag salita. Mga ilang minuto akong tulala sa lumuluha niyang mga mata. She was sobbing so hard, so did I.

I couldn't find the right word to say, not even a proper reaction to handle all those information I learned. I was sobbing for good 10 minutes. None of us talked. May parte sakin na gusto kong tumakbo. Tumakbo ng tumakbo, walang patutunguhan, hanggang sa mapagod lang ako.