Leah and her soldier

Finding myself

A/n this chapter contains mentions of mental health struggles, self harm and attempted suicide. If you feel you maybe triggered please do not read. And always remember you are not alone.

~Emily's POV~
I'm going to be talking to you's for a little while since Chris is just getting herself back on track. Leah left 4 months ago and poor Chris has been through it I tell you. The night Leah left we all got a very drunk text off Chris saying that Leah had left her. Me her mum Kat and Freya were all there in no time at all. We tried to get out of Chris what happened but she didn't tell us mainly because by time we got to her she was so drunk nothing she said made sense. Then we tried to take the bottle off her and let's just say that didn't go down to well. And it just continued from there she was drinking until she passed out then as soon as she woke up again back on the drink and this went on for 3 weeks. We all thought we were going to loose her. Chris never went to her therapy sessions, she stopped going to her physio and never left the house for 3 weeks.

We didn't think it could get any worse but we were so wrong. It was one of the days where Chris wouldn't let us see her. We knew this day she was not only drunk but none stop crying. Later on in the evening we all got a text from her I'm just going to put it below for yous to read.

Chris - I'm so grateful for having you all in my life. I love you all so much and I'm so sorry for what you are all going to go through but yous will eventually get over it. Please stick with each other I love you all xx

Diane phoned me straight away none of us could get through to Chris. I promised Diane I would go straight there and phone her. As soon as I got in the apartment I found Chris on the sitting room floor the typical bottle of whiskey but then a pill bottle open and empty. "No no no" I run over and put my finger down Chris' throat and she starts vomiting now if anyone says I'm not a good friend I will tell them of this. Anyways I phone the ambulance then phone Diane her and Kat are meeting us at the hospital. When they arrive Chris is having her stomach pumped I explain how I found Chris. We all sit in the waiting room silently all with tears streaming down our face not knowing what is going to happen next. Eventually the doctor comes in telling us that Chris is going to be fine they got all of the tablets and alcohol out and there is no damage to her body apart from the self harm wounds they found which are all cleaned and dressed. We go and see her and she is awake but refusing to speak or even look at any of us. She is just lying there crying silently I can't watch this self destruct anymore I love this girl too much to loose her so I pipe up. "No more Chris that's it, no more drinking, no more harming, no more self destruct we are getting you back" she just nods "do you realise how scared we all were tonight? We thought we were going to loose you" "Emily" "no Diane this needs to be said your mum has just got you back and you think she wants to bury you?" "I'm sorry" with that Chris starts crying hard "I'm nothing I have no army and no Leah I don't know who I am without them." Bingo we have the issue Kat and Diane sit either side of Chris hugging her then Kat speaks in that soft understanding voice "we will help you find you again Chris I promise."

Chris spends a further 2 days in the hospital and we she is released she is not allowed to be on her own. Me and Kat take it in turns to sleep at Chris' apartment because Kats house mate has to much noisy sex which Kat confirmed and she won't stay at mine in case she bumped into Lia. This whole thing has put a bit of a strain on our relationship but she doesn't talk about Leah and I don't talk about Chris and that's only because Chris asked me not too she has cut her ties with everyone at Arsenal. This went on for a couple of weeks maybe just over 3 when Chris said that enough was enough we weren't babysitting her anymore. We all agreed to give her the space she needed but created a WhatsApp group where she had to do check ins morning evening and night. This was also to make sure she wasn't drinking and it worked at first they started off simple messages until recently we got a meme which made us all laugh. Which was the Croods jumping out of popcorn shouting still alive.