Leah and her soldier

Why? I don't understand

Finally the hussle and bussle of Christmas is finally over Xander is getting back into a routine it's nice new year was good Leah was on the Graham Norton show, the lionesses got a tribute during the fireworks on the Thames that was fantastic. The only thing that has put a dampener on things was Jordan's announcement that she was leaving Arsenal. Leah took it quite hard and apparently I was insensitive with my comment, Leah had said that it won't be Arsenal without Jordan, too which I replied Arsenal is what the team and fans make it not one player. When I asked why it had gotten to her so much she went quiet which is when I asked what she wasn't telling me. Yeahhh it turns out Jordan is not just an ex-girlfriend but an ex-fiancé that really got my back up. I know Leah and Jordan have a past and I have no problem with that but finding that out from Jen of all people she could have told me.

We have been a little distant since then I just don't know what to say to her. Leah is out with some of the girls right now they have been shopping for Jordan's leaving presents then decided to go for a couple of drinks. I have put Xander to bed and now I am in my office with Zade doing some work for the gym there is so much going on with it at the moment all for the good. Zade is sitting in his bouncer cooing away it's so cute "are you having fun there baby, you're so freaking cute." I hear the front door open and Leah comes to the office "hi" "hey" "how was the boys?" "Good how was your day?" "Yeah good" "good, well I'm going to take Bella for a walk." I shut the computer down and go to walk past Leah "wait" she grabs my arm "we can't keep going on like this, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about me and Jordan it just wasn't important" "to you it wasn't but explains why she did what she did, Leah I nearly died because what wasn't important to you was too her. If I'd of known this.." "then what Chris?" "We could have been more sensitive around her that's all and maybe what happened wouldn't have happened" "Chris that was a long time ago you need to move on from it." wtf! "I can't believe you just fucking said that!" I pull my sleeve up on my jumper revealing my scars "these here remind me and the urges I fight everyday to not drink that reminds me of what happened. It was alright for you, you just went out and partied with your friends and carried on with your life like we were nothing" "that's not true" "if you say so Leah!" I go into the cupboard and get my shoes and coat "BELLA COME!" "Chris you can't go we are talking" "no I'm being basically being told that what I went through was nothing I'm done talking."

I put Bella's coat on "Chris" I walk out. What is happening? Is marriage supposed to be this hard? I go to the park and start playing fetch with Bella whilst listening to music but my phone is blowing up.

Leah - Baby come home, I'm sorry I shouldn't of said what I did, I promise I didn't mean it xxx
You've been gone for 2 hours are you planning on coming home? Xxx
Baby answer me please I'm getting worried about you xxx
Baby please come home, please I'm begging you please come home xxx

I look at Bella who looks tired "come on girl let's get you home and warm." I walk home with Bella and by time I get there I'm frozen. When I walk through the door Leah runs up to me hugging me "thank god your home, look at you your shivering come on let's get you warmed up." She takes my hand and sits me in front of the fire wrapping a blanket around me "I'll go make you a hot chocolate ok?" I just nod and she goes into the kitchen. She comes back in sitting in front of me and passes me the hot chocolate "it's not supposed to be this hard" "what do you mean?" "Marriage Leah it's not supposed to be this hard it never used to be hard but since we got married we seem to just argue all the time, we can't go on like this" "what are you saying Chris?" "I'm saying we need to get back on track we need us back it's not healthy the way we are" "you're not leaving me are you?" "Never baby I love you forever and always we just need to be us again."

I drink the hot chocolate and start feeling a little warmer "you're still shivering baby" "because it's freezing out there" "ok then why don't I run you a bath?" "It's ok thank you I'm going to have a shower so I can gradually get the temperature up, can you get Zade I am still cold to the touch" "of course." I go upstairs into the shower letting the warm water heat me to my core. I eventually get out and dressed climbing into bed "it's nice having you back in bed" "I came to bed." Leah comes and cuddles in "no you didn't I woke up through the night and you were never here" "oh right sorry" "don't be but how would you feel about coming to Jordan's leaving do with me?" "Seriously?" "Yeah I would love for my wife to be with me and to have a nice strong arm for me to hold on too." Leah lies on top of me "please baby" "fine I'll come" "thank you baby." She gives me lots of little kisses "I love you baby" "I love you too my love." Leah goes to get off me but I stop her "please stay there just a little longer" "ok baby."