This Is...A Happy Home

Thirteen!

These past few weeks have been absolute chaos. A block of cocaine was stolen from the warehouse, it took us days to try and figure out where it must of gone. Although, for some unknown reason Miles had it, Juice managed to get it back even if it meant spilling Miles' blood. Everything went more downhill from there, Juice doesn't seem like himself, I mean he tried committing suicide.

Sitting round the table I listen to Bobby. He wants an officer challenge meeting for new leadership where he can become President instead of Clay. In the middle of the meeting, a drive by shooting happens. I go to duck down, as I do a bullet shot in to my arm. It's nothing more than a graze, but in my mind I was going back to the time I had been shot at Half Sack's funeral, which caused me to miscarry. I begin to have a panic attack and struggled to breathe. I feel like the life has been sucked out of me. I can't think straight. I take a look at my arm and then glance over at the lads, who are helping each other up. Some of the lads had run outside with their guns, they managed to grab one of the shooters.

Chibs rushes over to me, spotting me sat on the ground in the meeting room with blood trickling down my arm. "Hey, it's okay, you're safe," he says noticing I am in mid panic attack. I shake my head thinking that I could be dying. "Stay calm, take deep breaths," he says trying to comfort me. I take some deep breaths hoping this is going to work. Opie walks in to the room, "What's happening?" he asks becoming concerned. "She's having a panic attack," Chibs explains. Opie felt relieved that nothing major happened to me during the shootout. He goes to get me a glass of water, before walking back in and handing it me. I take it and have a sip. I began to feel more calm than I was. I can tell these two lads are rather worried about me. "I'm sorry, the shooting happened and I kind of froze then my breathing started struggling, maybe it is some reaction from when I got shot previously," I say. Chibs gives me a slight smile, "I think so too," he says knowing I never really processed that properly. Chibs hugs me to him, "I'm sorry," I say feeling bad for acting this way when I should be strong. I feel him stroke my hair. "It's okay, wasn't your fault," he assures me hating the fact that I am blaming myself. I snuggle up to him not even realising I have been shot in the arm. Chibs notices though. "Lets get your arm sorted," he says withdrawing from me to take a look at my wound.

"Shit. Did I get shot?" I ask, quickly looking down at my stomaching thinking in my head that is where I have got shot. Some sort of trauma response I suppose. "You did but it's okay," Chibs says wondering why I am looking at my stomach when it is my arm that is injured. "Where did I get shot? I don't see a wound on my stomach," I say. Chibs guides my hand to my arm where the gun shot wound is. I feel the blood trickling down my arm, but my head is still in disbelief. "It was your arm," Chibs tells me gently. I shake my head not believing him as I take my hand away from my arm. "No, no it was my stomach. I remember it was my stomach," I say. Opie watches as this happens thinking he knows what is going on with me. "This could be some kind of PTSD thing from her miscarriage," he whispers to Chibs. I notice the whispering going on and I get anxious. "What you saying to him? Am I going to die?" I ask. Opie hates the state I am getting myself in to. He smiles slightly at me, before looking back at Chibs. "I will go find something to calm her down," he tells him, whilst watching Chibs sit me down at the table.

Opie walks over to Jax, who is sat at the bar wondering what the hell just happened. "Can you call Tara and ask her for a sedative?" he asks knowing I am going to be needing one if I keep panicking like this. "Yeah course I can," Jax says wondering if everything is okay, since he could hear me freaking out. He calls Tara who picks up with a cheery tone to her voice. "Hey baby, what's up?" she asks hoping everything is okay where he is. "Can you bring a sedative for Lexie, she's freaking out?" Jax asks having his fingers crossed that Tara can help. "Course," Tara says as she hangs up and makes her way to the clubhouse with her medical bag.

"If she is going to act like this everytime she gets shot, is she any good to the club?" Clay asks. Opie frowns at Clay for even saying such a thing when I am in the room. "Clay come on. That ain't nice, she is good to the club. She is just in shock and I think it may be down to the fact that she has trauma from the time she got shot during that drive by at Sack's wake," Opie tells him wanting Clay to understand why I am acting this way. "That was years ago," Clay sighs hating how this is being brought back up again. "Could still be haunting her," Bobby points out.

Tara enters the building and makes her way in to chapel, seeing me sat at the table. She hands Jax the sedative, "Any reason why she is freaking out?" she asks wanting to understand what triggered me. "She was shot in the arm and it brought back memories," Jax explains hating how it still haunted me to this day. "Shit okay. She ever been having any help to do with that kind of trauma back when she was shot and miscarried?" she asks as she makes her way over to me. I wonder what she is doing here and what she handed over to Jax. "I don't know to be honest," Jax says as he thinks about it and couldn't remember if I did or not. "Hey Lex," she says whilst smiling as she sits beside me. I look at her with worry written all over my face. "Tara I don't feel okay," I tell her. Tara looks at Jax for the sedation, which he gives back to her. "You will feel better soon, I promise," Tara says injecting me with the sedation.

I begin to feel sleep and end up passing out on Chibs' shoulder. "That should make it a bit easier for you to sort her arm out," Tara says handing him the bag of medical supplies. Chibs takes the bag and nods at her, "Thanks doc," he says grateful for her help. He gets to work on the bullet in my arm. Gemma rushes in seeing me laying on the table. "It's okay I sedated her, seems like the drive by may of triggered memories of when she was shot at Half Sack's funeral," Tara explains. Gemma goes over to my side and strokes my hair hating the state I am in. "Oh no, my poor baby," she says so worried. Tara smiles slightly. "She's going to be fine though," she assures her. Gemma smiles at that glad I'm going to be fine.

Not long later, I wake up noticing that I have been moved to Chibs' dorm. I turn my head to see him laying beside me. I spot the bandage on my arm and sigh to myself. "Hey, you okay?" Chibs asks seeing that I am awake. "I think so," I say, sitting up. I accidentally apply pressure to my arm making me wince slightly. "You don't look okay," he points out. I smile slightly loving how he pointed out the obvious. "Well thanks captain obvious, my arm really hurts," I admit. Chibs puts his arms around me gently, "it will do for a bit," he says hating that I am in pain. I snuggle up to him leaning against his chest. "I don't even remember what happened," I tell him. Chibs kisses the top of my head loving me against him. "Maybe that's your mind protecting you," he says wondering if it is a good thing that I can't remember what happened. I think about that for a minute, before accepting his answer. I kiss his cheek, "I love you." Chibs grins as I kiss his cheek, enjoying the little things I do to him. He snuggles up to me, "I love you too.".