Shiny pretty things

Chapter 9

Tay misses him;

New and his oversized pants. His bang bang shorts and his sweet tooth. His big laugh and his baseless theories. His whiskey brown eyes, so sincere and alive.

Tay needs him the way the lungs need air and he admits this every day. New rolls his eyes and calls him too sentimental. But Tay sees the way New's eyes light up when their facetime calls connect and the way they moisten when it's time to say goodbye.

"I love you, Teh." His voice is honeyed. Teh is his latest nickname. "I'll see you soon."

Sometimes, sadness bides in abundance and though he doesn't say it, New sees it. However trite it may sound, Tay believes they are somehow connected mind, body, and soul now.

"I'm here," New says. "I can see you. I'm right here."

But he isn't because Tay cannot touch him. Or feel the sound of his laugh reverberate on his chest. He cannot feel the strands of New's hair tickling his chin. He cannot kiss his lips or feel his cold feet warming against his calves.

"I know." Tay forces a smile. "I'm right here too."

**

Tay whiles away time by immersing himself in work. How he manages to survive a week is a mystery. On Wednesday of the second week, he visits home. It is always a pleasure to spend time with family. Picturing New at the dining table with them is effortless. It is too easy to see the actor eating Por's favorite dish or laughing at Mae's jokes, one long leg resting over Tay's thighs.

"You're different," Mae observes. She says it out loud and varied sounds of agreement echo around the table. "You look happier."

He smiles, "I am."

"So," his brother, Tan, says with a mouthful of food. "Who is she?"

Tay goes rigid in his chair. The som tam turns lumpy in his throat. 'He,' Tay is pressed to rectify but he cannot manage a word around the knot. He does not answer the question. He avoids their eyes for the rest of the evening. Two hours later, only when he opens the door to his apartment, does he feel the lump in his throat ease down.

I love you, he texts New. Guilt pecks at his insides like a scavenger bird. He feels as though he has denied his boyfriend.

When New doesn't text back after an hour, he persuades himself to fall asleep.

Tay awakes warm and comfortable. A solid weight is resting on his chest and the smell of citrus shampoo tickles his nostrils.

He wraps his arms around the body. Hugs it tighter. His companion purrs and huddles closer. "Newwie," he mumbles. Newwiee? His body zaps to an alert. "Newwiee?" He sits up abruptly. He is so clumsy with his movements that New falls to the side. He makes a displeased sound and scowls like a cat. Tay simply stares at him. "Newwiee? What are you doing here?"

"I could go and return tomorrow," New jokes and starts to half-heartedly disentangle himself from the sheets. Tay takes his arm and holds him in place.

They stare at each other for a second more and then Tay jerks the actor into his chest. Fuck! He has missed him. New is here and he doesn't know why but he's delighted that he is.

"Missed you. Missed you." He lays kisses on every surface of skin he can find. New simply laughs and takes it all in stride. "You're not allowed to leave ever again."

New straddles him. He digs the heels of his palms into Tay's chest. "What," his eyes narrow and his lips have a slight curl to them. "Will you chain me to your bed?" Tay tilts his head slightly and New's eyes grow bigger. "What? You want to chain me to your bed?"