Shiny pretty things

Chapter 5

It became their thing. New would stay away for days and show up unannounced at his door.

"I've been busy," he says. They call it actor stuff. Tay wants to be mad, to demand answers. Why is he not on top of New's priority list when it is clear the man perches comfortably on top of his? But New cups his cheeks and he puts a cap on his pain like he has many other emotions.

The hurt returns when the man leaves. However, he would show up again days after, an overnight bag on his shoulder and sweet words on his lips.

"You look more handsome than when I last saw you", he would say. "Is it just me or are your eyes prettier?"

He would embrace Tay at the door. "I've missed you, young master," he would whisper against his neck, commanding goosebumps across his skin. "I've missed your smell."

Tay would hold him back. He would hug him tight until his broken pieces are put together. "I've missed you too." This is it, he would hope. He cannot hold me like this and leave me.

But New leaves.

It is followed by days of radio silence. Tay gets glimpses of New's life only through his social media. New is having the time of his life. He looks happy. Brighter than when he is with Tay.

Sometimes, the days stretch into long weeks and Tay thinks the actor is finally done with him. But he appears out of the blue, bearing the finest whiskey and the prettiest smile. Tay can never refuse him. The day he does is the day he refuses himself.

"I could buy you the world." He lets slip one evening. He is used to throwing money at his problems. And New now is one of his problems. "I could buy you anything."

"I have everything I need," New says and the cracks in his heart widen some more.

What started as a crush has developed into full-blown feelings. Unrequited feelings. God! What is he, a child? Pining over a man that wouldn't stay with him for more than a weekend? What is he to do with these feelings? New must feel it too. These emotions are too strong to be his alone to carry. There is something there. Something unspoken, something quiet. Yet it wraps around his throat like a noose, choking the life out of him.

They are NOT just friends.

Tay has friends. People he has known since infancy. But— they don't touch him like New does. A lingering hand on his waist, a thumb rubbing the inside of his wrist, the ring on his finger pressing into the small of Tay's back. They don't look at him like New does. Like he is something, like they could be something. New's eyes on his skin feel like walking on hot coal. His hands on him feel like being baptized in magma.

Desperate, Tay seeks counsel from the internet. A BuzzFeed article suggests that one way to get over someone is to get under another person. So he pulls out the list his mother made of the most eligible bachelorettes.

The dates are quite pleasant. The women are pretty. Not only will they complement his family legacy, but they also seem like interesting people. Nonetheless, their lips are the wrong shape. Their eyes are the wrong color. Their hands are too soft. They are not him!

In a moment of insanity, he takes a photo of one of his dates. I'm on a date, he types and sends it to New.

He regrets it immediately after he does. But he is somewhat glad that he did. This should test if New feels anything at all for him. When the reply comes two days later, it answers the gnawing question.

Gud 4 u, Phi. She's cute ☺️

Tay does not go on any more dates.

**