The Wrong Brother

Chapter 5

IRIS

After tucking Nia in for the night, I headed back out to the living room, making a quick pitstop in the kitchen to fill two glasses of wine. Jade happily took it before I joined her on the couch waiting for her to turn on our favorite cooking contest show we watch every Sunday night.

“Do you think they know who is going to win the first round before they move to the second?” Jade asked before taking a drink.

“I don’t think so, but I do think the potential winners have to share what they plan on cooking so they have the ingredients in the pantry.”

Jade nods, “That makes sense, can you imagine them dropping the bomb that they wanted to make sweet breads, but none existed in the fridge?”

“Sweetbreads shouldn’t exist at all,” I retort.

“Oh come on, you wouldn’t try a dish with them if a world-famous chef cooked it?”

“No way, J. I do not think the thymus gland belongs anywhere near my mouth.” 

She cracks a smile, “At least it would be some sort of gland in your mouth.”

“Eww!” I swat her with the back of my hand, “How did you turn this conversation into something so dirty?”

“It’s a gift, what can I say?” she replies with a shrug.

After the first round of cooking is over, we guess who we think will win and patiently wait for the answer after the commercial break. I glance at my phone, just checking to see if Monty sent another text and Jade catches me. “Expecting somebody?”

“What?” I toss my phone onto the coffee table, “No, just checking the time.”

“Shut up, you know what time it is. Spill the beans, girl. Did you match with somebody from the app?”

“Can we talk about that app? Do you know how many penises I’ve seen since I let you sign me up for that thing? I think I should be awarded some kind of financial compensation.”

“You’re deflecting, Ris. Everybody knows dick pics some with the territory. Did you see anything you liked?”

“Oh my god!” I covered up my face, “Why are you the worst person ever?”

“You know for a fact I’m not, but I love that you’re hiding something.” Covering my face was a mistake. Jade took advantage of the opening she swiped my phone from the coffee table. By the time I realized what she was doing, she was already on her feet and moving behind the chair to put some space between the two of us. “Let’s see what you’ve been up to, Miss Iris.”

“Jade, come on,” I plead for my phone back. She doesn’t give a shit, typing in my security code to access all my private information. I regret using her birthday as my passcode. Here I thought it was a great idea for somebody close to me to be able to access my phone in an emergency. “I swear to god I will post those pictures online of the time you stuffed your bikini in tenth grade.”

“Oh please, I don’t give a shit about that anymore. Everybody would be able to see that I totally grew into that size.”

“If by grew, you mean paid for boob implants,” I snicker.

“Bitch,” she says with a laugh. “Iris Natalie Howell!” I cringed, knowing it wouldn’t be good after she used my full name.

“It’s not what you think!”

“You’re talking to Monty King? He gave you his phone number!”

“Um, okay maybe it is exactly what you think.” I fall back onto the couch and rest my head back, “Tell me I’m being a stupid girl, Jade. It’s crazy, right?”