I'm Fine

13

I don't remember falling asleep, but as I wake up I feel Jace to my side. This brings a smile to my face.

I feel his breathing under my hand, and hear his small laughter at the television show.

I move my head to lay on his chest.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" He says as he wraps his arm tighter around me.

"No," I whisper. "I don't even remember falling asleep."

"Yeah, I knew it was gonna happen. Do you remember anything?"

"Well, I remember yelling at you...and that's it. I'm sorry." I say as I move my fingers along his shirt.

"No need. It's okay. I understand." Jace rubs my arm, sending chills about them.

"Can you explain to me why I went to sleep? Or how?" I giggle.

"Well, after you spilled everything out to me, you ended up crying. I got in the bed with you, obviously, and had you lay your head on my chest. You cried for five more minutes, then you had fallen asleep. I knew you were hurting, and I didn't want you to deal with it on your own. In glad I came by when I did."

I feel relieved every time I'm with or near Jace. He brings happiness to me, and I keep pushing him away because I don't need it. I'll only hurt him

"I'm glad you did, too." I admit. "You're the only one I'd want here, to be quite honest."

"Really? And why's that?" He shuts the television off, assuming we're going to start a conversation.

"My mother is a fucking bitch, so I had her escorted out. And I don't trust any of my friends from school. You've not told them anything, have you?" my eyes begin to close as Jace speaks.

"No. I've told no one, except the teachers. I did that privately." His fingers find their way to my hair again. "I'm telling no one else until you say it's fine. And if you say you don't want anyone to know, then no one will have to know."

"Jace, how did you deal with your mother....committing?" I ask, whispering 'committing.'

I rise up and see his face has now saddened. "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer."

"No, no. I must." He swallows and speaks, "I don't really know. I don't think I ever did, or will. I just try to forget that's how she went, but I can't. I struggle everyday with it. It just hasn't came to me how I deal with it."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean.."

"Evelynn, it's okay. To be honest, you're the first girl I've trusted since her."

"Really?" I ask as I prop myself on my elbow, careful not to rip any cords out.

"Yeah. I talked to others before, and fooled around a few times, but you're different. I sense some part of my mother in you."

"Or maybe it's the fact we both hate this hell?" I mumble.

"No." Jace small smlies, "it's like she's you. Or you're her. I feel so safe around you, and I don't know why. Truth be told, I was going to try to fool around with you and never expect to like you. But then I got to know you, and now all I want to do is protect you and care for you."

"Wow. That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me before." I say, hugging him.

"I love being around you, here or not. Just like I loved being around my mom."

"Jace, I can't say I know how you feel, because I don't. But I can say one thing, if I remind you at the least of your mom, I will try to stay sane for you. I don't want you to relive that again." I take hold of his hand, kissing it.

"I don't know how much you're hurting, but I want you to know I would do anything in my power to take it away from you. I'd love to have it. You deserve everything, except pain. You're an amazing lady, Eve."

"And you're an amazing gentleman, Ace." I smile.

I don't know why, but I love being with Jace.

He takes my hurt away, and I can't love him enough for that.