Aren't we Supposed to be Enemies...? - Skephalo

Trash Talk

It is another normal day at the agency. But today, I am leaving a bit earlier than normal. This is because Darryl is coming over to my house early today, so I asked permission to leave work early today, and I was granted permission to do so. I already organized everything, and I have what I need before heading home. I close the door to my locker and start heading out of the locker room with Sapnap. He says, "Well, I've got some more work to do at the agency today, see you next time, Skeppy!"

"Until next time, Sapnap."

We go off our separate ways. I make my way down the long hallways of the TDA agency. I hear the murmur of voices in the distance, but don't think too much about it. It is when I get near a corner that I was about to walk by that I stop in my tracks. I hear familiar voices talking to my right, and by how close their voices sound, I know that I would bump into them the moment I turn this corner. But I'm not seen since I stopped walking right near the end of the corner wall, so I'm basically hidden beside the wall to my right. I hear the voice of Livia exclaim, "Gosh, he is so annoying! His confidence gives him such an infuriating ego! He genuinely believes he's all that when, in reality, there's nothing special to him."

Ah, of course... Livia is trash talking about me with her friends. I had a feeling she also did it behind my back and not just in my face, but I've never actually heard about it or witnessed it myself. I hear a male voice scoff and say, "I know, right!? Skeppy thinks he's sooooooo amazing, but all he's good at is showing some face through his acts. He's convinced that this agency is lost without him when, in reality, we would be completely unaffected if he just gets killed off."

A female voice that doesn't belong to Livia then says, "Yeah, he it's not like he even contributes much to the agency anyway. It shows with how many missions he's been assigned where he's just backup, and all he basically gets to do is sit around and look 'pretty'."

She makes a sarcastic tone when saying the word pretty. I hear the male chuckle and say, "He believes he's so handsome  when there are so many guys here who are better looking than him- including me! Most girls look better than him!"

I hear the whole let out fits of laughter. It feels like the laughter continues endlessly, but it actually just holds out for some seconds. Livia says, "Seriously though, Skeppy thinks he's all that when in reality he's just another of multiple pawns in this agency to help stop enemy agencies. There's nothing about him that makes him superior to us. I really wonder why boss gives him some sort of 'special treatment' if there's nothing special to him..."

Livia almost mumbles the last part. The boss probably gives me 'special treatment' because my family has been working in this agency for generations, but of course, nobody else in this agency except him and I know that. The female voice chuckles and says, "Skeppy is quite frankly nothing compared to everyone else. Almost- if not, useless to this whole agency. I don't know why some people like Sapnap and the boss don't see that yet."

I feel my eyes starting to water, but I fight back the tears from falling. I can't let myself cry at work. If someone sees me, they will end up seeing my weakness, and I can't let anyone see that. The whole time, my body was frozen, unable to move no matter how much I wanted to leave. But by now, I have heard enough. It's not like I didn't already know any of that anyway. I use whatever strength I can find left in me to move my body away from the corner and walk the opposite way, away from the voices. I really don't want to walk into them, so I'm gonna take the long route to the exit of this place.

As I walk down the halls, I can't help but fall deep into my thoughts. I just now come to realize that I actually haven't been having too many negative thoughts about myself these past few days. I've been too caught up with Darryl to even think about my insecurities or get reminded of them. It was a miracle that I hadn't heard a bad comment about me for some days. I guess I got used to it too quickly. Because after hearing all of those comments about myself after getting a supposed break from it all... it felt like I got stabbed in the gut.

I've been getting used to such bad comments about me that at some point, words didn't seem to hurt that much anymore. I just accepted anything thrown at me. Because I couldn't deny the cold truth. But after getting what felt like a break from it all and then getting constantly insulted like that... it hurts like hell. More than it should have after a long time. Looks like I really haven't gotten used to it, considering that those words hurt me this much. Now it's all I can think about.

I keep replaying the words said by Livia and her friends in my head as I leave the agency. I've been walking so slowly, getting too deep in my horrible thoughts. By the time I get to my car, I realize that I should really hurry if I want to get to my house before Darryl. I need to get my head out of the drain. As I get into my car and start driving home, as much as I try, my thoughts keep coming back to what I heard back at the agency. I really need to stop thinking about those words. Hopefully, I can keep myself distracted once I start hanging out with Darryl.

I hope these thoughts of mine don't ruin my hangout with Darryl. Hopefully, he doesn't notice anything off about me... no- it's fine. I just need to keep up my act and pretend everything's fine. Like I always do. I've done this dozens of times before. I just need to not let my guard down and remind myself to not let my true emotions show.