Static.
Dipper: Alright, uh. Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained. (Holds up title card) Today we investigate Gravity Falls Anomaly #82.
Camera pans over to the left-facing man.
Dipper: This guy. Sure he looks normal, but if he's so normal explain why he's always facing left.
Static.
The man is at the grocery store performing complicated tasks facing the left side.
Dipper: Literally, I've been following him around for weeks.
You: pelp.
Static.
The man is running around the park, and begins to run backward around the track.
Dipper: And I've never once seen the right side of his face.
Static.
The man is in front of the escalator, steps up backward to get on.
Dipper: And neither has anyone else. But why?
Static.
Dipper: Mabel? Y/N? Theories?
You: maybe he was only born with one half of his body?
Mabel and you: (Holds up pictures) Theory one: He's hiding an embarassing sunburn. Theory two: Half-man, half lizard-man. And theory number three, my personal favorite: He's normal! And Dipper's just crazy!
You snicker in background
Dipper: (Takes the picture) That's not a theory, that doesn't count as a theory.
Mabel: Ha ha ha! He he!
You: Hah ah hah
Dipper: We find out now! (pants and goes into the Bowling alley) Hello, good sir!
Lefty: I'm sorry, cameras aren't allowed in here.
Dipper: Oh, it's not on. Not on. (Acts like he's turning off the camera but doesn't; whispering to the audience) He bought it. (To the lefty man) So, would you mind grabbing those bowling shoes for me? The ones on your right side?
Lefty: Those ones? (Dipper nods and Lefty puts them on the counter without turning around)
Dipper: Whoops! Oh no, I... dropped my wallet! (Throws wallet) It's over to your right there. Your right side. Could maybe turn around and...
Lefty: (Sighs and picks up wallet without turning around) There you are, sir.
Dipper: Fine... Could you just get me my bowling ball?
Lefty: I don't see why not.
Dipper: (Follows him with camera)
Lefty: (Mutters to himself) Let's see, look like maybe a ten, or...
Dipper: (Well, I was thinking it could be the... (Turns the man around and reveals the robot side) Ah ha! What the...?!
You: WOAH!
Fish Alien #1: (One alien notices) Guys!
Dipper: (Zooms in on the fish aliens gasping, then on his, yours, and Mabel's reactions)
Fish Alien #2: We're blown! Shut it down! Shut it down!
Fish Aliens: (Takes suicide pills) The time has come!
Fish Alien #2: The time has come, brother!
Fish Alien #1: I can't! I have a family!
Fish Alien #2: You signed the oath! (Takes his pill)
Fish Alien #1: (Takes pill)
Fish Alien #2: (Screams)
Fish Aliens: (Explodes)
The lefty robot collapses and explodes, and the fire sprinklers turn on.
Man #1: Aw, come on!
Man #2: The sprinklers are on!
Dipper: (Running away, along with Mabel and you) Well, that concludes anomaly #82. Uh, I think we might want to burn this tape.
You: pelp!
Static
YOU ARE READING
DERPY KIND! Gravity Falls Guide
FanfictionIt's basically the animated shorts of the guides with you in from my book "DERPY KIND!"
