Dipper's Guide: Tooth

94 4 2 
                                    

                                              
Static.
Dipper: Welcome to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, Anomaly #42: The Tooth. (Points camera at Mabel and you, who is poking the tooth with a stick.)
Mabel: We're here for scale!
You nodded with a derpy smile.
Dipper: I found it yesterday when I was, uh... practicing.
Static, cut to Dipper playing a sousaphone and you by him.
Dipper: (Suddenly stops playing and points) Hey, is that a giant tooth?
You: hm?
Static.
Dipper: Strangely human, but it's gigantic! It's bigger than any fish or lake monster I've ever seen. And we're gonna find out where it came from! 
Static, the camera is on Tate McGucket.
Tate McGucket: Tooth? No, don't know nothin' about a tooth.
Dipper: We were thinking about paddling out on that lake tonight.
You nodded.
Tate McGucket: Bit of friendly advice, kids: You see bubbles on that lake, run.
You: huh?
Dipper: What, why?
Tate McGucket: Enough questions, get that camera out of here!
Static.
Dipper: I'm here at the lake to investigate. I brought Mabel and Y/N for backup.
Mabel: And I brought Bear-O, my adorable childhood puppet. (Holds up Bear-O) Hi-yo! Ain't that right, honey? (As Bear-O:) Did somebody say...honey? (Normal voice:) Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
You cringed a bit with a blank face
Dipper: No. Creepy. Bear-O's creepy. Everyone hates Bear-O.
Mabel: (As Bear-O:) But Dipper, who could hate Bear-O?
Dipper: I can think of a few people.
Static, cut to Mabel on a stage with Bear-O surrounded by kids.
Mabel: (Sings) They're quite a pair, Mabel and Bear-O. Her un-bear-lievable bear!
Kids: (Crying.)
Boy: I hate Bear-O, mommy! I hate it!
Cut back.
Mabel: Aw, come on! You'll see! You, me and Bear-O, are the adventure team of a lifetime!
You: I hated it..
Static, cut to you reading a comic book as Mable puts Bear-O in your face.
You: AHHH KIILL ITT! KILL IT!
You run away to grab a flamethrower and burn bear-o and cut it with your axe
Cut back. 
Static, Dipper, you, and Mabel are on the boat; Dipper has made Mabel leave Bear-O behind, camera zooms out to a disgruntled Mabel, rowing.
Dipper: Okay, something out there left that tooth, and we're gonna find out what it is!
You throw up a surfer sign with your tongue out. 
Mabel: (Holds up a sign, which reads:" DO YOU WANT MORE BEAR-O?! LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD WRITE: Mabel Pines, c/o Mystery Shack, Gravity Falls")
Dipper: No, no, come on! (Grabs the sign.)
Static.
Mabel: What are we supposed to be looking for?
Dipper: I don't know, just look out for bubbles in the water.
You nodded. 
Bubbles come up near an island.
Mabel: Dipper, look!
You: look look!
Dipper: They're over by that island! We have to see what happens!
The island shakes.
Dipper: What was that?
Static.
Mabel: Ah!
You: Huh?
Dipper: Oh no. What's happening?!
You: WOah-
Mabel: IT DOESN'T MATTER! ROW! ROW! ROW!
You: ROW NOW BOY! (Points at dipper angrily)
The island is revealed to be a giant head that rises out of the water and floats toward the boat, grunting (backwards): ""!YNITSED RUOY RETNE !nerdlihc ,htuom ym retnE .rebmuls ym debrutsid evah uoY"
Dipper: (pants)
Mabel: AAH! AAAAHH! AAAH!
You: ROW ROW ROW! ROW FASTER DANG IT!!
Dipper: It's getting closer!
YOU: AAAAAAH!!!!
Mabel: AAH!
Dipper: AH! KEEP ROWING!
You: OMGGGG!
The camera footage starts skipping. Static. A crawfish crawls by and Dipper and you comes into sight.
Dipper: I don't know, I've been looking for... 
You: dipper looks. (Points to camera)
Dipper: there it is. (picks up the camera) Okay, after it attacked us, that giant head thing just sunk back into the lake, and it lost another one of its teeth trying to eat our boat! But the important thing is, we survived. Barely.
Mabel: Ugh, yeah. (As Bear-O:) Did somebody say, bear-ly?
You: NOOOOO!
Dipper: AAAAHH!
Static
DERPY KIND! Gravity Falls Guide Where stories live. Discover now