DERPY KIND! Gravity Falls Guide

Mabel's Guide: to Stickers

Short opens with Mabel sitting in the attic. Her hair is twisted and messy.

Mabel: And that concludes Mabel's Guide to Hair Topiary.

Dipper: What is it?

You: huh?

Mabel: It's an ostrich. It's clearly an ostrich. (Grabs the beak part of the hair and emits bird calls)

Intro: A techno mixed version of Mabel's voice calling herself plays while a montage featuring Mabel is played.

Mabel: Today: Mabel's Guide to Stickers!

Cuts to Mabel sitting on a chair with a book. Behind her is Dipper reading a book on his bed as you rest on his shoulder.

Mabel: Throughout history, stickers have been the backbone of many great civilizations.

Dipper: No, they haven't.

Mabel: (Shows the book) The ancient Greeks used leeches for stickers! The more stickers you had, the cooler you were!

Dipper: Nope, not true.

Mabel: (Turns the page) The ancient Aztecs' chest skull was the modern equivalent to today's (shows a sticker) "Orange you happy mon?"

Dipper: Yes, Aztec war paint was exactly like a rasta orange. Mabel, have you ever read a history book?

You wake by dipper's nerdiness as you look at Mable and put stickers on your face as you are now bored awake.

Mabel: (Points at Dipper) Edit it out!

The tape fast-forwards. Dipper disappears.

Mabel: (Snaps her fingers) Edit! (stickers appear on her face) Edit! (more stickers) Edit! (more) Cut away!

You: (stickers also add on your face)

Static. Cuts to Mabel holding her Sticktionary.

Mabel: Let's take a look at my personal Sticktionary! (Opens her Sticktionary.) Stickers falls into several distinct categories. Puffy stickers,

Soos: So soft!
Mabel: (Turns the page) Googley eyes stickers, (Shakes the book)

Soos: Aaah! It's like they're watching me!

Mabel: (Turns the page) Bumper stickers, scratch and sniff, sniff and touch, listen and taste, and price stickers! (Closes out) You can get these ones free at the store!

Dipper: Don't they need those?

Static. Cuts to electronics store.

Mabel: (Takes the price tags off the TVs) Stickers, stickers, stickers. Hahaha.

You slam one on your forehead smiling with your tongue out.

Customer: (Picks up a TV) Free TVs, everybody!

The customers run and steal TVs. Static, cuts back to Mabel.

Mabel: Listen, Dipper. You shouldn't doubt my authority. In the sticker world, I'm the girl who can get you things.

Static. Cuts to Mabel and Stan at the gift shop desk.

Stan: I need a sticker to put on my car that'll, y'know, get the cops off my back.

You: (Shows Stan a "Baby on board" sticker.)

Stan: Oh! (Tries to grab the sticker)

Mabel: (Takes it back from Stan and you) Uh-uh! My price?

Stan sighs and gives Mabel a huge can of industrial sprinkles.

Mabel: I'm gonna get so sick.

Static. Cuts to Mabel eating the sprinkles.

Dipper: Mabel, don't you think those are hazardous to your health?

You nodded concern

Mabel: EDIT IT OUT!!! (Dipper dissappears) Edit! (wearing sunglasses) Edit! (a radio appears) Edit!

Soos appears

You: (also wearing glasses as you now spin around the room) hey Soos.

Soos: What? How did I get here?

Mabel: Thanks for watching Mabel's Guide to Stickers. And now a riddle: What kind of sticker can save your life?

Static.

Mabel: Waddles! Y/N! If you please.

Waddles: (Shoots the grappling hook which hits Mabel.)

You: OOF-

Mabel: (sits up and opens her jacket to show the stickers she had inside.) Puffy stickers! (Laughs) It still really hurt, though...