Mother Pamskilly was cleaning up the tubes in the sewers. "I must be quick!", Said Mother Pomegranate cutely. Today was another exhausting one and she would love nothing more that to explode!!,
Mother Pamgrenade's boss, Gabriel Utterson the dry lawyer, was playing ARKNIGHTS! again and he couldn't get past 1-7. Mother Patricia was done with her work so she reported to Grabiel and went home to her three children: Lee Arknights, lee and Sasha (who was having a bad hair day). As she was running through the street to reach her children, she tripped but was miraculously caught by strong, muscular, sexy, firm, arms... 'CAREFUL WHERE YOU'RE GOING, mISS' the deep, baritone nice whispered directly into her ear canal. Before she could see who it was, he transformed into a bottle of deodorant and rolled away into the gutter!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!1!" she screamed.
When she arrived home, she was still deeply saddened about not meeting her saviour. like her previous husband Joella, he had rolled away into the drain. Mother Popskillet had to put on a brave face for her children (Lee Arknights, lee and Sasha (who was having a bad hair day)) and she stepped into the kitchen like the woman she was and made dinner. The dinner was cooked ibuprofen and magnesium hydroxide.
'mmm!" lee burped, "that feels delicious!"
"Wonderful..!" moaned Lee Arknights, "My mouth and my tastebuds are like a bouncy-castle!"
"I think this may make my hair silkier!!" said Sasha who was having a bad hair day.
Mother Pickmeskillissue smiled at her children. "YES. FEAST CHILDREN!!" she said lovingly. But before long, her mind was cast back to the incident earlier today... That person.. She held back her tears.. no bottle of deodorant would be able to wank off. Sighing, she cleaned up for the night and went to bed.
And suddenly, the FBI broke through the door even though she's in the UK. "No!" they say, "We aren't the Federal Bureau of Investigation, we're the Fabulous, Beautiful Iguanas!".
"Ohhh, you do look rather scaly!" she said innocently.
'"We have come to investigate your coffee." they say smugly.
"My coffee???!!?!"
"Yes, we have received reports of an increased number of people-being-turned-into-deorderant-bottles and it all links back to.... YOU!"
"But..." Mother Pinpilli cries, "I prefer tea!"
The FBI detonate on sight. IMPOSTERS AMONG US?
"What the ever loving fuck." says Mother Primogemsaregone with feeling.
Sasha, who was having a bad hair day, made a 'wake-waka-just-dance' through the door, effortlessly stepping over the lego and exploded parts of the FBI. She may be having a bad hair day, but she was slaying at Just Dance TM!
"Hey mummy, you wouldn't believe the day I had!" she says, while having a bad hair day
"What happened?"
The next day...
In the morning, while trying to clear the blood and remains of the iguanas, Sasha (who was having an even worse hair day) and Mother Pippidanglinschmunf decided that they are strong independent women and deserve to get an education.
"I shall enroll in the MidnightCarp Uni!" said Mother Primpissy.
"You should join my class, mummy!" said Sasha, her bad hair having a day.
"God idea, sweetheart!"
And so, they both attended a course on 'How-to-make-yogurt' at MidnightCarp Uni, leaving Lee Arknights and lee to starve.
However, when Professor Prismatic Shard started to speak, he suddenly clutched his balding chest and head and his eyes bulged. Scared, he gasped for air, only to sound like an aerosol can that was being pressed. He rapidly shrunk and soon all the was left of Professor Prismatic Shard was a shiny bottle of whipped cream with the label 'fuckboi's armchair cream'.
The lettuce hall was silent, and nobody moved 34.5mm. "ahhh shiiit," said Mother Popadoms, "here we go again."
Then the cabbage hall exploded and everyone left except Mother Pomskillwee and her daughter who was having a day of bad hair. Turned into angel cookie.
Everyone was yelling, "Be not afraid!" at that moment, but all they could do was be afraid!
Then a man in a Ford Fiesta broke through the wall and killed 5.2 angel cookies. It was Oxford University!
_______________
Author's Notes
Hey guys thanks for reading!!xx this is just chapter one, so I hope you look forward to the next instalment, 'Fuck me in the ass and call me David!'. ski desu mina san!! <3
Mother Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis: omg who could that have been? ><
Oxford: *smug face*
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Even MOMS can go to UNIVERSITY!
Mystery / ThrillerHark! Another person has sputtered out their compressed air for the final time.. People are turning into aerosol cans and Mother Pomskilly seems to be caught up in the middle of it! Journey with our babygirls and men: Mother Pomskilly, a quirky goss...
